The Struggle

So lately, I’ve been doing a lot of research into why I haven’t been feeling very well. I can spend hours trying to research every symptom and possible diagnosis and it seems the more you research it, the more options you come up with. One website is telling you to try this, another website is telling you to stay away from the previous suggestion and try their suggestion. You start creating a maze of circles and at the end of all the research you are just back to where you started. It can be so overwhelming to not know, to not understand, to not be able to figure something out on your own. I know I am so quick to read books, surf the web, go to doctors, try new diets, try new exercises all in a desperate attempt to find answers and to find healing. Now, don’t get me wrong, God brings people into our lives to help us solve problems, He has given us information to help us along in this life, but those things are only after we first seek God with all of our mind, body, and soul.


My first human instinct is to figure things out on my own. Our human nature leads us to believe that we can find answers on our own. You would think that after a hundred times of coming up empty handed, I would finally realize that I do not hold any of the answers. I hate to admit it, but we are a lot like the Israelites in the desert, we attempt to make our own path and think that we can do things better on our own.

Some may think this is coincidence but I know that this is God---today my Bible study was titled “Not by Might” and the first excerpt was this…

Many Christians today quickly turn to manmade things in an attempt to achieve victory over the flesh, just as Israel did. One glaring example is the vast number of self-help books found on the shelves of Christian bookstores. Literally thousands of books promise surefire ways of improving, appeasing, and subduing our flesh. Indeed, everywhere we turn we are offered fleshly options to all our needs. (David Wilkerson)

David Wilkerson then makes the statement, “The truth is, God gave Israel the option of choosing Him or the flesh in the midst of their situation.” Every situation we encounter, whether it be our health, a major life decision, a sinful struggle, or a spiritual battle allows us the opportunity to either strengthen our faith or be consumed by fear.

If all things are brought to God in prayer, if the steps we take are guided and directed by God’s hand, then we do not have to fear where He is taking us or what we might face. God has overcome and He will not leave us to be overcome by our own flesh. We can go to the doctor in confidence because we know that ultimately it is God who holds the answers and if we are diligent in our prayer life, God in His perfect timing will reveal His wisdom to bring us understanding and healing.

David Wilkerson ended the Bible study with this, “If you are in the midst of an overwhelming struggle, you must learn the word God gave Zechariah: ‘Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord’ (Zechariah 4:6)”

The Unknown Road

As the years pass by I am realizing more and more that I am a creature of comfort. I like to have things mapped out in front of me, I want to know what to expect, and I want to know all the details so that I can formulate a plan for ideal comfort.


I lived in a big city for over twenty years and it didn’t faze me to jump into the car and drive from point A to point B. I knew almost all the roads; I knew exactly what lanes I was supposed to be in, where I was supposed to turn, and where all my favorite destinations were. There were over two hundred thousand people sharing the roads with me and yet I was completely comfortable because I knew exactly where to go and how to get there.

Recently I moved to a smaller city, which requires about thirty minutes of driving to get to my favorite destinations. This change of cities, roads, and scenery has created a panic inside of me every time I get inside my car to go anywhere. Suddenly I don’t know any of the roads, I don’t know which lanes to be in, I have no clue where I’m supposed to turn, and I often wonder if it would just be safer to stay home.

How could I be so comfortable in a big city and yet be paralyzed by fear in a much smaller city? It seems almost comical doesn’t it, especially since we are in the technological age where GPS devices are easily accessible and where your car almost navigates for you now?

What we think is comfortable is sometimes just our excuse for being paralyzed by fear. How often does God ask us to trust Him? How often does God ask us to take a leap of faith without giving us the bigger picture? It made me wonder how many times God has asked me to get into the car and travel somewhere new and yet out of fear I have stayed home, desperate to stay in my comfort zone.

Growing up I often thought that God’s will meant that He gave you the big picture and then it was up to you to find the best route to get there. That logic made me terrified of getting lost, of missing opportunities, or of not arriving on time. God has revealed to me lately though that He has a will and a purpose for me but that He wants to direct me step-by-step along the way. He wants me to be in constant prayer, listening to His direction. He wants me to tune out the distractions around me and simply be focused on His voice. When we are constantly praying, listening, and walking step-by-step in faith with God there is no fear in getting lost, in missing opportunities, or in being late because it becomes God’s plan and not our own.

When we try to take the wheel ourselves, and navigate our life on our own, the journey suddenly becomes overwhelming and fearful. We tend to stay in our comfort zones because we want the control of knowing where we are going and how to get there, but we sacrifice the many opportunities and blessings that God has planned for us. If we live our lives in faith and learn to listen to the voice of God, it does not matter where we are going, how many people are around us, or how scary the path may be, because God knows the plans He has for us—plans to prosper us and not to harms us, plans to give us a hope and a future.

I know that God doesn’t want me in a constant state of comfort because I am not as willing to trust and rely on Him. I know that God constantly pushes us so that He can grow our faith and so that He can take us places that we would have never have gone ourselves.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”