One Day at a Time...

The other day I was journaling and if I'm being honest, I was a little mad at God.  Sometimes God leads you to a destination but doesn't give you all the facts, all the knowledge, or all the understanding for why you are going, what you will be doing, and how long it will last.  Instead of unconditionally trusting God, we get scared and beg of Him, sometimes demand of Him, the master plan.  There are times in our lives when He gives clear vision for the destination but there are times in our lives where it is more about the journey then it is the destination.

Our lives are consumed with plans.  No matter what you want to do whether it be working out, dieting, cleaning, budgeting, reading, etc...everything has a 30 day plan.  Day one everything seems exciting and hopeful, you get this fire inside of you that says, "I'm going to do this!" "A month from now everything will be different."  The problem is that day number three arrives and you've already failed or fallen behind and then the whole month is ruined before the first week is even over.  It's amazing how determination can quickly turn into self-destruction as we beat ourselves up for not making this month the month of change.

How we live our lives and how we try to put everything into a 30 day plan is often how we try to live spiritually, we try to force God into giving us a 30 day plan that maps out the road before us and tells us exactly who we will be or what we can achieve if we just stick to it.  God is screaming out to us to live our lives ONE DAY AT A TIME.  One day at a time?  God how will I know where I'm supposed to be going or if I'm achieving the goal if I don't know the entire plan?

I think God doesn't give us the whole plan not only so we will trust and rely on Him fully but because as it states in Matthew 7:13-14, "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."  The gate is narrow and the way is hard. If we knew just how difficult the road was before us, many of us wouldn't even get out of bed in the morning.  God has a purpose for each of us, a plan that requires us to trust Him when the road is hard and when the journey becomes lonely.  God knows we can't always handle the entire plan but that doesn't mean He doesn't intend to take us on the journey, it means He leads us one step at a time, one day at a time.

We have a God that doesn't set us up to fail, we have a God who cheers us on every step of the way.  He doesn't want you to fail on day three, or get overwhelmed by day five.  He knows that the journey is long and that the road is narrow.  Every morning He awakes us, holds out His hand, and says, "lets go a little further, shall we."

Is God Enough?

I've written on this question before, but sometimes it takes God asking us many times, and us answering many times, before we truly understand the depth of the question...Is God Enough?

I was reading in Numbers and verse 5 struck me:
"And the people spoke against God and against Moses, 'Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this worthless food.'"

God was providing for the Israelites for over 40 years, each and every day mana from heaven fell to the earth to provide the people with strength and substance to withstand their hardships.  The irony of it being that the Israelite's hardships of wondering for so long was because of their disbelief and their hardened heart towards God.  God was in the midst of discipling them but yet God was sustaining them.  God could have just killed them all right there, but He didn't, He provided, and yet the people turned their back on Him and uttered to Him that He was not enough.

How many times does God provide for us, in the midst of our mistakes, bad decisions, and rebellious heart?  We don't deserve His provisions and yet everyday God is faithful to meet our needs.  How many times though do we cry out to God in disgust that what He is providing is just not enough?
This verse really made me ask myself if I was like the Israelites turning my nose at God's daily providence?  It made me ask myself, "Is God enough?"

Right now in life money is not falling from the sky, understanding is not at my feet, energy and zest seem to be ever lacking, but yet God is providing EACH AND EVERY DAY for all my needs.  My wants and my needs often get confused in my head but deep in my heart I know that when I'm questioning God's allotment in my life it is because I'm questioning His purpose for me.  Out of fear for where He is taking me and what I may have to do, I cry out to God for what I think I need; but He quietly and simply answers back, "Trust Me, I am enough."

Is God truly enough?

Letting Go of 2012

Letting go of 2012 will not be to difficult for me to do.  I have been anxiously awaiting this new year, the hope of 2013, and the idea of a fresh start excite me.  In reflecting over this past year and all it's newnesses, blessings, heartbreaks, and frustrations I felt that God told me that 2012 was the year of letting go.

This past year we took the grand leap of faith and moved three and a half hours south to the small city of Scottsburg to become part of a ministry staff at a small but growing church. I have peace in this move because I know that it was a calling God placed on our hearts, but it has been a very difficult act of faith to be obedient with.  I have never lived more than an hour away from my parents and am used to dropping by for a family dinner, or running a quick errand with my mom while discussing anything and everything that pops to mind, finding my dad in the backyard and sitting on the porch swing with him---never having to say much but always feeling his arm around me and his love for me.  These are all things that you somehow take for granted on a daily basis and when they aren't there leave you feeling a void the size of a small crater in your life.

There have been so many blessings this year, I have never felt more close to my husband as I do after this past year, I have met so many amazing people who have been placed in our lives by God to encourage and grow us, and I have felt God's hand of protection and providence through every tear and  sorrow.  This past year was about letting go of the things that I thought defined me, it was about not relying on anyone other than God to provide and protect me, and it was about understanding what my faith truly meant to me when I had to walk the walk on my own.

I think a person's greatest fear is loneliness and in the fear of somehow disappearing along the way.  We cling to things that we hope people will recognize us by or understand us better from, all because we long to stand on common ground.  I know from experience that God will shake that ground because He wants us to realize for ourselves that our foundation should be in Him and Him alone and that all else is sinking ground.  It seems when the world is crumbling all around us is when God extends His hand to us and says, "Fear not, I am with you always."

I am confident that 2013 is going to be a year of understanding and of blessings because God has extended His hand to me and has told me to fear not.  My foundation will be stronger this year as I have learned how to let go and to trust God in leading the way.  I'm sure 2013 will come with it's own trials and tribulations but I survived 2012 and have a confidence now in knowing that I am never alone, nor can I disappear from God's mighty hand.

Praying God's blessings on you in 2013.