The God of the Universe Holds My Heart in His Hand

I do not have very many memories of my Grandfather but I do have one memory that has always remained close to my heart.  My Grandfather used to come up behind me and place his hands on my shoulder, he would not say a word. He was not aware of his own strength as he would squeeze my shoulders in his powerful grip for what seemed like an eternity. There was just this period of silence and then He would let go and quietly walk away back to His chair.  I don't remember any conversations that we ever had, I don't remember any activities that we shared; He was a man I hardly knew but yet that one memory I have has always solidified His love for me.

God has gripped my shoulders, like a grandfather who does not know His own strength, and yet I feel empowered when all my own power falls to the strength that only He can radiate through me.  There is a calmness in being rooted in a strength that is not your own.  There is a feeling of love, stability, peace, and understanding that passes through a simple touch.  There is a peace when the weight of the world falls back into anothers able hands.   When I fall into His stillness and surrender my desire to move, it is then that I truely feel His grip of strength holding me in, drawing me closer to His heart.

Desperate to carry something--to hold onto something--God reaches out His hand and says--"hold on." There is no mistaking the grip of God.   I often try to wiggle my way away, I think that I could sometimes go farther if I just let go. Like a child with a parent, I just want that independence to let go and do it on my own.  God is faithful in His promise of granting me free-will, and he allows my hand to slip out of His, but He is never far as He watches me run in circles to my own demise.

It is not until I hold on that He can lead me on this journey, that He can guide me into His plan of purpose.  He patiently waits, hand held outward as if He never let go, and He asks, "Are you ready now?" Timidly I put my hand out afraid of His embrace, I fear His frustration with my disobedience but time after time He gently takes my hand, holds it tight in His grip and says...."Okay, lets go."

The Heaviness Inside...

There are moments, sometimes extended periods of time where a simple breath, the simple concept of breathing in and out, feel so labored and so difficult to remember to do. There is a heaviness that sits on top of my chest, a suitcase of fear and frustration, that keeps me pinned down and desperate to fight for an escape, for just one deep breath. The body becomes weary, the mind tired as every effort feels labored and every movement feels forced. There is a fear that consumes --that maybe, just maybe, the strength we need to rise again and again will fail us and we will be left pinned down by all our fears and doubts. This strength we doubt within ourselves is sometimes a doubt in God himself. A doubt that makes us wonder if He hears our cries, if He sees our turmoil, if He will be our salvation from the burdens we bear.

I can’t help but think of a parent with their small child, constantly watching over them, helping them, pushing them to grow, and building their independence. A parent helps their child grow, they supply a safety net for possible failure, but the ultimate goal is to have the child be able to make wise decisions, learn how to pick themselves back up and to learn from their mistakes so that in the future they can better handle situations that arise and are similar.

In my cries out to God, I beg for his rescue—for a quick escape, but more often than not I hear a voice inside that says, “You can do this.” “You have my strength inside of you, I will never leave you or forsake you, but I have given you lungs to breathe—you can take that next breath—just breathe.”

Strength builds with an increase of weight. What once seems like an impossible task, one day becomes a simple accomplishment, as strength grows and weight increases. Perseverance and consistency become the means of growth, the building of strength, and the ability to conquer more.

Our strength is worked out through our perseverance and determination to continually push all oppression aside, to run faster to the voice of God, and to cast all heaviness into the arms of God.

The heaviness we experience is an opportunity to grow in strength and faith.

The Fear in Faith

There is an overwhelming fear at times that comes with completely trusting in something other than yourself and other than what you can control.

Trust is taking down the safety net and taking the leap of faith.

Fear is looking down before you jump and thinking of the 101 possible outcomes that your mind can’t help but explore and become consumed by.

It’s only human nature to want to see and explore all the options, all the possibilities, all the consequences. God created us to be individuals, people who can think for themselves, feel unique emotions, and make choices all on our own. He understand what is at stake when he asks us to trust in Him, He understands how our minds work, He understands the difficulty in handing over control. He gives us free will so that we understand the importance of our choices, so we can feel what it means to truly be free. I think deep down we all know the choices that lay in front of us and whether we will admit it or not—we know the consequences of those choices. It is our own selfishness, our own desires, and our own need for control that keeps us from taking the leap and forces us to stand on the edge always looking down and wondering-- will this ever work? We are the ones that keep ourselves from the freedom that God so freely offers.

Freedom always comes with a price. Our Country was founded and built by generations who fought to make it what it is today; individuals who understood what it meant to set aside selfishness for the greater good of freedom. Freedom does not come easily, it is a choice. It takes work to build and it takes even more work to sustain. Faith is freedom. God just handed us our freedom—He has it in His hand, holding it out to you, and asking you to take the leap. It is not through our own work or through anything we have done that he offers it to us. Freedom is our Gift from God. Our gift to God is trusting Him in our freedom, it is in giving him control when it is difficult, and it is in keeping our freedom maintained through living out our faith daily. Our worship is in trusting Him when everything in us tells us to step back, it is in taking that leap without looking down, it is in fighting for freedom when the chains of doubt threaten to hold us down.

God says Fear Not but He also knows that we will fear. He does not say that there won’t be fear, He just tells us to not look down—to keep our eyes focused on Him, to take the leap without the chains holding us back, and to live out our faith with freedom.

There is fear in faith but God says…Fear Not.