The Heaviness Inside...

There are moments, sometimes extended periods of time where a simple breath, the simple concept of breathing in and out, feel so labored and so difficult to remember to do. There is a heaviness that sits on top of my chest, a suitcase of fear and frustration, that keeps me pinned down and desperate to fight for an escape, for just one deep breath. The body becomes weary, the mind tired as every effort feels labored and every movement feels forced. There is a fear that consumes --that maybe, just maybe, the strength we need to rise again and again will fail us and we will be left pinned down by all our fears and doubts. This strength we doubt within ourselves is sometimes a doubt in God himself. A doubt that makes us wonder if He hears our cries, if He sees our turmoil, if He will be our salvation from the burdens we bear.

I can’t help but think of a parent with their small child, constantly watching over them, helping them, pushing them to grow, and building their independence. A parent helps their child grow, they supply a safety net for possible failure, but the ultimate goal is to have the child be able to make wise decisions, learn how to pick themselves back up and to learn from their mistakes so that in the future they can better handle situations that arise and are similar.

In my cries out to God, I beg for his rescue—for a quick escape, but more often than not I hear a voice inside that says, “You can do this.” “You have my strength inside of you, I will never leave you or forsake you, but I have given you lungs to breathe—you can take that next breath—just breathe.”

Strength builds with an increase of weight. What once seems like an impossible task, one day becomes a simple accomplishment, as strength grows and weight increases. Perseverance and consistency become the means of growth, the building of strength, and the ability to conquer more.

Our strength is worked out through our perseverance and determination to continually push all oppression aside, to run faster to the voice of God, and to cast all heaviness into the arms of God.

The heaviness we experience is an opportunity to grow in strength and faith.

The Fear in Faith

There is an overwhelming fear at times that comes with completely trusting in something other than yourself and other than what you can control.

Trust is taking down the safety net and taking the leap of faith.

Fear is looking down before you jump and thinking of the 101 possible outcomes that your mind can’t help but explore and become consumed by.

It’s only human nature to want to see and explore all the options, all the possibilities, all the consequences. God created us to be individuals, people who can think for themselves, feel unique emotions, and make choices all on our own. He understand what is at stake when he asks us to trust in Him, He understands how our minds work, He understands the difficulty in handing over control. He gives us free will so that we understand the importance of our choices, so we can feel what it means to truly be free. I think deep down we all know the choices that lay in front of us and whether we will admit it or not—we know the consequences of those choices. It is our own selfishness, our own desires, and our own need for control that keeps us from taking the leap and forces us to stand on the edge always looking down and wondering-- will this ever work? We are the ones that keep ourselves from the freedom that God so freely offers.

Freedom always comes with a price. Our Country was founded and built by generations who fought to make it what it is today; individuals who understood what it meant to set aside selfishness for the greater good of freedom. Freedom does not come easily, it is a choice. It takes work to build and it takes even more work to sustain. Faith is freedom. God just handed us our freedom—He has it in His hand, holding it out to you, and asking you to take the leap. It is not through our own work or through anything we have done that he offers it to us. Freedom is our Gift from God. Our gift to God is trusting Him in our freedom, it is in giving him control when it is difficult, and it is in keeping our freedom maintained through living out our faith daily. Our worship is in trusting Him when everything in us tells us to step back, it is in taking that leap without looking down, it is in fighting for freedom when the chains of doubt threaten to hold us down.

God says Fear Not but He also knows that we will fear. He does not say that there won’t be fear, He just tells us to not look down—to keep our eyes focused on Him, to take the leap without the chains holding us back, and to live out our faith with freedom.

There is fear in faith but God says…Fear Not.

Power of God in the Purpose of our Words

My Prayer today is that the words of my mouth may sing your praises

And that your power in my life would be evident in all that I say.

It is said that the eyes are the window to the soul and lately I am learning that it is the tongue that is the mirror to our faith. There is power in words. God gave us a voice to speak, He gave us authority to proclaim, and He gave us knowledge to form our words wisely. I have felt convicted lately for the words that have been leaving my lips. The words that I have uttered have been words of pride, words of fear, words that have torn others down, and words that have failed in giving God the glory He deserves. When I look back and try to find the reasoning behind those words, the reason is simply a heart wayward from God and a mind determined to glorify self instead of God.

Proverbs 17:27
The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint,
and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

If we have a strong faith in God, if our identity and our purpose are found in God alone and not in people or things of this world, if the measure of our success is based on the leading of the Holy Spirit in our life, then there is no need to speak words or create noise to bring attention to ourselves. The words of our lips, the actions of our hands, and the direction of our feet should bring glory to God and should be evidence of His work in our life. He should be our voice in times of doubt and affliction and the restraint we practice should be the proof of the knowledge and understanding that we have in our creator, God.

We have the power of God to use our voice to reveal His power and presence in our life.

Proverbs 19:1
Better the poor whose walk is blameless
than a fool whose lips are perverse.

Our wealth and our worth radiate in the peace of our hearts and the restraint of our words. True faith is allowing God to speak through you, the Spirit to guide you, and to make your own words few so that you do not miss an opportunity to be used by God-- to be His voice to the lost, the hurting, and those needing encouragement.

In my life I hope that I can find rest in the quiet, that my words can be few so that I can better hear the voice of God and so that I have every opportunity to encourage and impact the lives of those around me with His words and not my own.

Opportunities of Faith

We draw from experience in understanding the things that are unfamiliar to us. Our human logic can’t help but plan our journey for tomorrow based on the path’s of yesterday. We long to understand, we desire to relate and to make sense of all that is unfamiliar and unknown to us.


I find more often than not when I’m discouraged by life, when I’m hurt by those that are close to me, when confusion settles, and when hurt permeates; I am also discouraged in my faith, feel hurt by God, confused by His purpose and hurt by His distance. I compare God to those that I look up to in life, I compare my faith to what I understand here on earth, I base my knowledge and logic on the examples and experiences that I encounter on a daily basis. We compare what we know with what we can’t comprehend.

While I have felt God’s presence in my life, I have not physically sat across from Him in a coffee shop talking about my feelings, my passions, sharing with Him who I am and being able to look in His eyes and see Him physically next to me. When God says, “I will provide,” I compare His provisions to the examples in my everyday life of those who tell me they will provide—whether that be a parent, a spouse, a boss, a friend. When God says, “I love you and will never leave you,” I can’t help but compare that to those I once trusted, those I trust now—both positive and negative in my life. We put God in the box of our own understanding based on the earthly examples and experiences we have lived through and built our experiences from.

A Faith based on the comparisons of earthly experiences strips God of what makes Him the one we worship, the one we praise, the one we believe in. When I am disappointed and hurt by God I have to step back and ask myself if I have made something else the god of my life, and if I am basing my feelings and devotion to the things of Heaven or the things of earth.

Why would we follow after a God who isn’t bigger or more powerful than our own human logic and understanding? There is no point in a God if our belief does not allow for Him to break the mold of our own comprehension. We follow a God who is bigger than the hurt and mistakes of those that are around us, we follow a God who does not compare even to the greatest of examples in our own life.

Faith is the belief in the things unknown; in the things we can’t comprehend, in the things we have no understanding or experience to draw from. We may never sit across from God physically in a coffee shop but there are moments in my life when I have felt the presence of God. I know this without a shadow of a doubt because His presence, His moments with me, exceeded and went beyond any understanding or experience I could ever draw from knowing on my own. It’s in the moments that we cannot understand, it is in the moments where the hurt feels more than we can bare, it is in the moments when the loneliness overwhelms, that God breaks down the barriers of our heart. He says…I am more, I am greater, I am bigger than any feeling you have, any comparison you make; I am the God who brings peace that passes all understanding and who reveals Himself to you when all is silent and when all hope seems lost.

God cannot be compared. When you don’t understand, when you can’t comprehend, when you can’t make sense of the senseless---those are the opportunities for Faith and to allow God to fulfill His promise to you that He is greater.

The Beauty of Blessings

The breathing slows, the heart beats in stride, eyes are opened, and the world slowly comes out of its fog. Inspiration stirs, hope overwhelms, joy floods the soul that was once heavy with defeat.


These are the signs of Peace… A Peace that passes all understanding, A peace that overwhelms until it takes complete control and transforms you.

Peace is a blessing we take for granted, it is an achievement few will ever find, and it is an emotion that transforms one from being a vessel of emptiness to a vessel of use and purpose. We chase after dreams, we fight after desire, we push and we pull for yesterdays regret and tomorrows promise. We are in constant motion with no destination—we are the chaos we desire to be rid of. We are in deep desire for rest, for peace, for the world to slow down all around us long enough so we can feel a part of something rather than passed by.

The world is still…we are the motion…we create the blur.

Peace creates the clarity; it opens our eyes to the stillness of beauty. Contentment can only be reached when we allow peace to open our eyes, when we finally see all that surrounds us, all that we are a part of. Contentment isn’t letting go of the dreams for tomorrow but it is in surrendering our hope for tomorrow in God’s hands. God gave us hands for today—hands to work, hands to love, hands to create, hands to inspire. He holds our hand to lead us to tomorrow but he gives us freedom in today to take advantage of all the blessings he invests and gifts us with. He longs for us to create and to build upon what He gives to us—He trusts us with His creation to make more out of less and to build blessings that overflow from our own hands and into the hands of those all around us.

I know more often than not I am so busy trying to pull God into tomorrow that my hands are not free to work, love, create, inspire, and bless those around me today. My blessings do not reach their potential and more often than not I find that I cannot be trusted with what God so graciously gives to me each and every day. After experiencing peace, I crave it; after understanding contentment, I desire it. I want my eyes to be opened to the blessings that surround me. I want God’s peace so that I can capture the opportunities of today. I want my life to be more than a blur. I want pictures of my life to reflect vivid colors, faces that are crisp and clear, and experiences that can never be forgotten or misunderstood by all that witness the snapshots of my life.

Are you willing to let go of control to find contentment? Are you willing to embrace God’s freedom of today and let Him hold the hope of tomorrow? Are you ready to experience peace that passes all understanding and to be a person of purpose?

May your blessings overflow to all those that are around so that their lives can in turn be blessed by God’s measure and never that of our own.