Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Call to the Wilderness


Jeremiah 2:2 ..."I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown."

To Find Yourself, You Must Be Willing to get Lost in Me.

I keep hearing the word "wilderness" pressed onto my heart and into my mind over and over again.
This past year was full of so many accomplishments, so many events and activities, a lot of moments I will treasure in my heart and even more moments that I will toss into God's sea of grace; however, as I stand on the day where we look back over our year--I am consumed and overwhelmed by weariness.  On this eve of approaching the blank pages of a year to come....my resolution is rest.

God brought me to the book of Jeremiah this week and the words that He has been speaking over my heart today are confirmed by words written hundreds of years ago. Jeremiah 6:16 "Thus says the LORD: Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, 'We will not walk in it.'

Are we finding rest for our souls?  Is God showing us an ancient path and asking us to walk on it, but we are replying to him, "I will not walk in it."  We so often think that this response of "I will not walk in it" is one that is made out of defiance, one that is out of a heart of rebellion and pride but I think more often than not we as Christians are speaking this back to God, completely unaware.  We justify our response because we are often trying to do "His work" or trying to grow "His church." We tell God that we can not rest because the calling is great and there is much to be done... 

Why is it that families are breaking, spirits are overwhelmed and exhausted, chaos consumes, and disorganization overwhelms and yet we call it "God's work."  Every verse that God has been leading me to speaks of rest, speaks of bearing fruit, speaks of fountains of living waters--If God's path is rest...then why are His people overwhelmed by weariness?

Jeremiah 2:13 "for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." 

When you take inventory over your life---are your cabinets full of broken cisterns that hold no water? (You will know this if you are weary, tired, burnt-out, overwhelmed, defeated, etc...)

God spoke to me the other day and He simply stated, 
"It is Man's heart that pleases me, not his hands."

It's time to take inventory of our heart (our cabinet).  It is time to go back to the days of devotion, the days of following God in the wilderness.  To hear His voice, to know His call, to understand His path; to separate ourselves from distraction and confusion and to allow God to break our hearts of clay, our broken cisterns, so that we can emerge rested and renewed, full of His living water--pure and set apart.

My Prayer for 2015...
Take me deep into your wilderness O God, that I may get lost in your wonder, that I may be consumed by your words.  Teach me to hear your whispers and to cling to your presence.  Break these broken cisterns of weariness and create in me a heart that is overwhelmed by your living water.
Plant my feet firmly on your paths of rest, press upon me your compass of truth, teach me to follow your peace.  O God, take me into your wilderness that I may enter into your land of promise.



Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Do Less...Be More


You are God's precious creation---created at conception with worth---created with a mighty purpose.

I was supposed to sing a big song this past Sunday at Church--a song that has been so etched into my heart that my soul just longed to sing out its declaration, not only to the church but also over my own life.  I longed to sing "It is Well" -- I longed for Heaven to hear my cry, my soul's desire, I longed for this declaration in the midst of everything in my life.  

In the days leading up to Sunday though I caught the seasonal cold/flu.  I thought to myself, okay, I can do this--I can get over this.  If I just push through-- I can control this.  A few days later, I then found out I had strep-throat.  A doctors appointment and some antibiotics later, I was still determined that I was going to prove to myself and to God that it was still well with my soul.  Then...I lost my voice.  I didn't get to sing my song and my fight to prove that I could Do it landed me in bed--exhausted, feverish, and sick..

I had thought for some reason that God would somehow hear my heart if I could just prove to Him my determination and my deepest desire to be close to Him.  I wanted Him to know my worth, I wanted Him to know my strength, I wanted to remind Him of my purpose. I know that sounds so silly to say---to tell the all knowing God of the universe my purpose, strength, and worth. 

That evening (realizing now I should have probably stayed home, but so glad that I didn't) we had the church Christmas party and at the end we all sang worship together.  I tried again so hard to sing and yet nothing came out.  I was forced to stand there as everyone around me sang and I had to just be still and listen.  Such beauty surrounded me---melodies from hearts of others that were crying out to their God.  I was overwhelmed that I got to be a part of something so strong, something so sweet, something so powerful.

I stood there, held out my hands and just received from God His goodness and His peace, and His promises.  He washed over me and my heart and I didn't have to do a thing.  I was mute and yet He heard my heart.  I was barely able to stand and yet He was my strength.  
It was if he was telling me, "Stephanie, Stop Doing and Just Be In My Presence."

Why is that we feel we must prove our worth or our hearts to God?  
Why is it that we think we must do something great in order for God to hear our cries? 
Why is it that we think we must be perfect before God can use us or desire us?

It is in our brokenness.  It is in our weakness.  It is in our weariness.  
It is in our stillness.  It is in our surrender.  It is in the quiet. 
It is in all these things that God meets us, hears us, and surrounds us with His presence.
It is not in our power--but in His.  It is not in our doing--but in His.  It is not our will--but His.

This post is to encourage ourselves to stop doing and to start being.
We do not have to do anything to win God's favor.

Your heart is held by the creator of the universe and whether you scream from the top of a mountain or whisper within the hidden places---Your God hears every word, every cry, every desire. 
Your hand is held by the Great I Am---not because of anything you have done to earn His embrace but simply because He longs to be near to you.

You do not have to prove your worth to God----so stop trying to prove your worth to yourself.
You my love...........just simply have to BE.


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Is it Well With Your Soul?

I read a blog written by Craig McConnell last week and was captivated by the words and the thoughts behind worship and wonder that He spoke of...
Worship has more to do with the posture of our hearts than the movement of our lips; it’s what naturally happens when a person encounters the wild, beautiful and holy/other God. In the presence of God worship is inevitable—it cannot be suppressed.  In His presence all things fall into their proper place: kings of the earth bow; sinners fall on their faces in repentance; death’s sting is lost; evil and its pawns are vanquished; there is no cancer, hopeless or despair; the blind see; the deaf hear; and there is joy—so much joy.
 He further wrote of his current battle with cancer and His desperation for worship in the midst of the unknowns and the fears...
It was new ground for me… messy, profound… deeply personal. As I cried out for relief I also found myself worshipping, praising, adoring, and thanking God for the comfort, strength, and hope of his presence. I praised him for life, for heaven, for his goodness and grace. Again and again I recited Psalm 23, clinging to the truth that, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me.” It wasn’t poetic, but it was passionate and burning... birthed in and from my pain. None of my circumstances changed. I still had a fever and was in pain. My cancer didn’t disappear but everything faded like the old hymn says: “And the things of this world grew strangely dim.” Everything found its proper place. I was anchored to my Father, without fear. I was good. Cancer’s despair lost its grip on me and I worshipped as I may never have done before. 
(http://andsonsmagazine.com/08/love-and-wonder#.VGvKl75RHww)
We sang the song "It is Well" this past weekend at church and it brought me back to a place of evaluating my worship and my wonder for God.  I had to ask myself the hard question, "If God gives you nothing, will you still give Him everything?"  How often do we worship God seeking nothing in return?  So many churches are teaching a prosperity gospel.  Preaching that God is just waiting to give you promotion, money, success, fame, health.  I believe that we serve a God that is capable of giving us all those things--but He never promised us those things.  In fact when the disciples decided to follow after Christ and live a life of worship to Him, They lost EVERYTHING.

With my hands raised and my heart raw, I sing out to God..."IT IS WELL, IT IS WELL, WITH MY SOUL."  At that place of surrender and worship there is an overwhelming wave of peace,  a filling of purpose, and an awakening of our souls.  The things we carry fall to our sides, our needs and our wants fade away, and we realize that we have always had EVERYTHING we will ever need.
Our prosperity is in a God who reveals Himself to His people, who sings with them in the midst of their greatest trials and who Holds their hands high in their hardest battles.

"In His Presence All Things Fall Into Their Proper Place."  Worship is our way of entering into the throne room of God.  It is our way of experiencing Heaven on Earth.

Our prosperity is His Presence.
and in His Presence there is Peace.

I long for a life of prosperity, a life of living out my days in the Presence of God's wonder, overwhelmed by His peace and His joy no matter what circumstances may come.

My longing and hearts cry for worship is to be able to sing out over my circumstances---It is Well With My Soul.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

When You Fail...

The definition of grace has never been more profound to my soul then in this current season.
GRACE--unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification.

There is the excitement of God speaking so profoundly into your life, the knowledge and understanding that God is whispering into your ear "this is the way you should go."  God in all His foreknowledge prepares our hearts and our minds for the coming season.  But Then..... the season comes, fear overwhelms, and our human hearts get the best of us and we begin to work in our own power and we put our trust in our own hands. 


It does not take long to realize that the only power our hands hold is that of destruction, weariness, discouragement, and chaos.  Our hearts become discouraged and we further our destruction by trying to find our identity, our security, and our purpose in the hearts of others.


It seems that at this point the only way that God can get us on our knees to be in communion with Him is to allow our own bodies to give out.  Our own senses fail us, our own power is not strong enough, and our inner soul collapses and cries out--Oh God, save me from this.  


Where strength fails, grace prevails.


We become empty, 

but as soon as our cry hits heaven's ears,
divine Grace comes and fills us with hope.

How undeserving we are...to know that we hurt the heart of our God and yet with unmerited divine assistance, He reaches from His throne and speaks into our hearts----You are mine and I am Yours. I cry out to Him oh Abba Father--and He calls me His child of purpose.



You whisper over me and my heart screams for You God,
you take my hand and we begin again...






Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I am Faithful Like The Morning


Not by your power but by mine
will you shine vibrant like the sky.
I am opening the Heavens
that My glory may pour out.
O lift your eyes to the sky
Fill Yourself with Me.
Turn Your weariness to wonder
that you may reflect Heaven's mystery.
I am faithful just like the morning,
though the darkness may rise.
In my light you will find rest.
Be still and see that the Heavens open for you.
I show you my glory that you may
awaken the earth to my wonder
--Shine in My brilliance--
Like a star in the sky
Like mornings first light

Friday, October 10, 2014

Step By Step



A Total Dependence on God

I woke up this morning and this song was playing in my head..."Oh God, You are My God, and I will Ever Praise You...I will seek you in the morning, and I will learn to walk in your ways, and step by step you'll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days."

I like to have a plan.  I'm the type of girl that wants the 3-5 year plan; I want the planner that has everything organized and tells me exactly what I need to do, where I need to be, and what the expectations are.  Lately though, I feel that I need to invest in the world's largest eraser!  It seems that everything I plan ends up getting erased, changed, or moved. 

Giving up control is something that is really hard for me.  To say, "I don't know" is even harder.  In this season of life though it seems that God is asking for me to completely let go, to surrender,  and to trust Him with the plan.  Why is it so hard to trust the God of the universe, the God that created our days and our existence with "the plan"?  

And Step by Step You'll Lead Me, And I will l Follow You All Of My Days.

Faith is the moment before every step-- It is not having the plan, not seeing the vision, and yet trusting that God knows each and every step before we do.  
In previous blogs the theme that God had been placing on my heart was peace, separation, retreating. I wasn't quite sure what these all meant but now that I am in that season of total dependence on God, I understand.  We can not listen for the voice of God with each and every step of our lives if we are constantly distracted, continually busy, and overwhelmed with the voices of others.

When God asks us to retreat, it is with great purpose.  He is preparing your mind, body, and spirit for total dependence on Him.  

So the question today is...Who or What is leading our lives? 
I know that personally, I need to retreat, I need to consume my life with peace, and its time to make some very hard choices in order to be lead completely by God.

I know that I have to give up my plan for His.  Its time to take out that planner and that eraser and create a blank slate for God to work.  My plan is not working, it hasn't been working for a very long time.  I don't want to live a life of pencil and eraser anymore.  I want a life where God uses permanent ink and inscribes on my heart, His will and His plan.  

Is our plan keeping God from revealing His plan?

The heart of a man plans his way, 
but the LORD directs his steps. 
Proverbs 16:9


Thursday, October 2, 2014

Seek HIS Peace


I just have something simple to say tonight, something that I think God wants to inscribe on the hearts of His people.  "You Have Great Worth--Seek Beyond What You Can See."

Seek His Peace
In His Presence You Will Find Rest
In His Rest You Will Find Hope

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 5:5)

Thursday, September 25, 2014

I am Your Peace Be Still


Sometimes God speaks to us words of profound wisdom and magnitude and yet when they fall onto our ears we are not quite ready to understand all that they mean.  I was taking a walk along the ocean and just pouring my heart out to God.  So much had happened in the previous weeks and I was questioning God's voice; a voice I was so desperate to hear and yet my mind was starting to doubt and question what was really God and what was me.  As I started my walk I told God just that--"God, I long to hear from you but even now, I can't help but question what is You and what is me."  I felt like God simply replied---Keep talking anyway...Keep listening anyway.

Step by step and prayer by prayer, conversation formed---while I was tentative at first, words of wisdom and truth washed over me and I knew that what was being spoken over me far exceeded anything I could speak over myself.

I laid out to God all that had happened, my broken heart, my weariness, my fear, my insecurities and
on the way back from my walk I felt like God placed a song in my heart..."I am your Rock, Your Shield, I am Your Peace--Be Still."

I believe God puts songs in our hearts for us to face the upcoming storms of life.  I wish I could say, I came back from vacation a new person and that all the wonderful things God had spoken into me changed me to be Brave and Fearless---but truth be told, I quickly got overwhelmed, fear crept back in, and weariness overtook.

The song still plays though, "I am your Rock, Your Shield, I am Your Peace--Be Still."

God gives us profound words to hold onto, they are our life preservers. We may not know what we have yet to face, but God does.  He is our high place in the midst of the storm--our rock; He is our protector against all that attacks--our shield; and He is our peace in the midst of it all.

Keep Talking, Keep Listening...Don't let confusion kill conversation with God.
What you have faced, what you are facing, and what you have yet to face is not new to God--when He places a song in your heart--hold on to it.
His words are a lighthouse in the midst of the raging storm.



Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Without Words



In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. 
We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
Romans 8:26

Yesterday was a day when I was desperate to hear from God, desperate for direction, desperate for just a word to bring clarity to this head that gets so consumed with chaos. 
I went to the last place that I had so clearly heard from God and waited in anxious anticipation to hear from Him again---one mile, two miles, three miles, four miles.....just my beating heart and silence. 

I cried out---God, I really need you..where are you?  
Romans 8:26 washed over me---"the Spirit himself intercede for us through wordless groans."
I felt like God did speak to me--just a simple sentence....."Sometimes there is more power in silence."

Sometimes out of desperation we begin to cry prayers of fear, prayers of worry, prayers of weariness and God simply says, "Quiet my Child." We get scared of the silence, we get uncomfortable with the distance and yet God is separating the noise from our heads and our hearts and listening to the Spirit to hear the true cry of our soul.  

When I don't have the words to describe all that I feel, when I don't know how to perfectly articulate my heart to God, when all I can do is just move forward with a heavy heart and a wordless groan--- it is then that the Spirit can meet me where I am, take my heart and bring me before the Father.  

Giving up control and embracing the quiet in order for the Spirit to work on our behalf is sometimes our greatest battle of faith.

There will be days when God may seem silent, there will be times when there are no words to articulate our greatest need, there will be moments of weakness and weariness--BUT TAKE HEART--the Spirit is interceding for you.

You don't have to fight every battle, you don't have to carry every emotion, you don't have to hold every word------God meets you in the silence and He whispers over your heart, "be still and know that I am God."


In the silence my spirit screams out
a melody of words that can't be heard.
In the silence my soul finds rest,
The silence is where my greatest battles are won.
It is in the silence that my heart begins to overcome
The Silence is where true worship is sung.

With every groan in my heart
With every cry of my lungs
My lips will remain still
but my soul will sing out.

May my greatest melody be the words that are never heard
May my sweetest song be only for your ears
May my silence be a sacrifice to You
May my worship be without words.






Tuesday, August 12, 2014

To Encounter God...


To Encounter God.
The word encounter means to "be faced with." 
To be faced with God.

Exodus 33:11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.
Exodus 33: 17-23 And the LORD said to Moses, “This very thing that you have spoken I will do, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.” Moses said, “Please show me your glory.” And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The LORD.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.” And the LORD said, “Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back, but my face shall not be seen.” 
 
Do we believe that the God of Moses is the same God who created us?  
Do we believe that God encounters His people today? 
I think so often we don't truly wrap our brains around what God did in sending His son to this Earth to die for our sins.  
God sent His only Son to this Earth, not just to destroy Sin--- but to establish relationship, to be able to encounter His children.

It overwhelms and saddens me to know that so many Christians are living and believing that they can not encounter God. 
They live their lives in devout religion but never experience relationship with God.  
They respect God as creator and judge but they can not accept God as friend and lover. 
They spend their entire lives trying to tackle sin and pursue perfection just to try and please God.

You were created to be a lover of God's presence.
The barrier of sin was destroyed so that we could live in the presence of God's glory.
God knows Your Name...
God longs to meet you face to face...
God longs to encounter you.

Get lost in God's presence, allow His glory to overwhelm you--to consume you.
Be a Lover of His Presence. Ask God to Show You His Glory.




Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Beyond the Borders...


Have you ever driven through the plains of Kansas?
Wide open fields for as far as the eye can see.
There is just something refreshing, something that makes you take in that deep breath and just feel free.  You can see a storm coming in from a mile away because the land and the sky are not separated by anything---
just an ocean of green grass that moves with the wind.
I just imagine myself walking through these fields, just taking my time, moving my hand over the corn and grass and just thinking, praying, escaping from all the borders of this life.

Have you ever seen the cattle in Kansas though-- all huddled together, no personal space what so-ever, all crowded together in the very corner of the fence line?  They have hundreds and hundreds of acres and yet as you drive by on the highway they have found the border and have found their safety and their rest in those limits.

This just made me laugh and think that we as humans aren't so different from the cattle. We cry out to God for freedom, we cry out to God for peace, we become desperate for rest and renewal and God answers our prayer by putting us in a season of escape, a season of renewal, a season of quiet.  How often though when He answers our cry and gives us the vast openness of renewal do we immediately go and look for the border?  How often do we search out to find where other civilization might be?  How often do we find ourselves setting up our safety in the very corner of the field, huddled around others, and falling back into the same routine?

What would it be like to have a faith that is without borders?
What would it be like to have a trust that is dependent on God alone?
What would it be like to allow the Spirit to lead us beyond the safety of what we know?

We cry out to God for what we need and when God provides we allow our fear to draw us back to our  same routine.  We have found comfort in our pain, in our busyness, in our weariness. Why is it so easy to find comfort and safety in affliction?  Why have we made our homes here?

Oh God---break the borders and the boundaries of our Heart.
Take our hands and lead us into your will and into your wonder.
Break these chains of fear and of distrust---
May we embrace your hand and your freedom.
Lead us oh God into fields of righteousness and renewal--Set our hearts for adventure.
Break these borders and lead us into your freedom--build our faith that we may walk confidently all the days of our lives in your fields of amazing grace.


Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Kick Off Those Heels


My friend wore these amazing heels the other day.  As always, her outfit was coordinated, her hair was gorgeous, and I envied her ability to rock super heels (or as they are known to me "face plant enablers").  A little while later though I noticed that she was taking off her super heels and trading them for some flat sandals. I thought to myself, why would a woman who can rock super heels want to trade them for what us sub-par woman normally wear? (lets be honest--we all have shoe envy occasionally). I asked her why the switch, and she simply stated "I just needed to be comfortable today."

The next day I was praying for a word from God.  I usually pray for a word or a phrase, something that I can hold onto throughout the week.  I felt like God gave me three words...indulge, comfort, and renewal.  Immediately the memory of my friend picking the comfortable flats over the heels came to my mind.  How often are we pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone, when deep down we are just craving comfort?  Why is it that we feel guilty in seasons of rest?  Why do we have it engrained in our minds that being comfortable is wrong??

I know that personally I have taken the statement "Don't get comfortable in your Christian Walk" extremely literal---I have somehow allowed myself to believe that to become comfortable in your life is to fail within faith.  This morning as God whispered those three words over my heart---indulge, comfort, renewal--I was wondering and trying to understand how these words that I craved could be possible in a life where becoming comfortable was so dangerous.  I had an awakening--an epiphany, a God moment where he messed up what i had always believed and filled me with new truth (Don't you love when God does that?).
We are never to become comfortable in our Christian Walk in drawing closer to God, in seeking God, in growing in our relationship with God--BUT--in our Christian Life true obedience to God, true surrender to His will, and true relationship with Him will always be followed by an indulgence of joy, comfort that is rooted in peace, and renewal that is healing to our souls.

I felt like God asked me this morning why I was feeling so guilty and ashamed for indulging in my season of comfort and renewal.  Why I was forcing myself to wear "heels" everyday when I was desperate for my flip-flops.

There are seasons of our lives where God calls us to go out in the world, amongst the noise, in the midst of the chaos and fight battles with physical strength; but then there are also seasons where God calls us to retreat, to separate ourselves from the noise, from the people and to fight battles of the heart.  The hardest battles are those of surrender, those of obedience, and those of waiting.

When You surrender you will find peace...
When You have a heart of obedience you will find rest...
And When You wait patiently on the Lord you will find comfort.

Kick Off Those Heels!!  
Don't feel guilty in your season of peace, rest, and comfort--
those are God's blessings over your heart (and your feet).  
Indulge in God's Blessings!



 PS--this blog was not meant to offend those that can rock the "super heels" 
or to state that those ladies who wear heels every day are not showing evidence of obedience-- 
You may enter your own personal death trap accessory of choice :)

Thursday, July 24, 2014

May Peace Be Your Compass


God, I pray a prayer of peace over your people.  
I pray Lord for lives that are set a part, lives that are drawn away from distraction, lives that are set firmly on the path you have set before them.  
Oh Lord, we always pray for blessings and prosperity but Lord I come desperate before You and I pray boldly for seasons of isolation--I pray for seasons of seperation so that You can train us to Hear your voice--to hear from You and You alone, to feel your presence so completely and so overwhelmingly that we crave to be only in your presence.  
Oh I pray my God for people who are on fire for you--desperate for you--whose lives are consumed with a passion and a cry that changes this World. 
Oh Lord--I cry out for souls to be so consumed by You--to be so overwhelmed by your love--to hear your voice without doubt or question.  Lord I pray that in this battle we face that we would be trained by You to be strong warriors that fight for your peace, that fight for your presence, that fight for your path--that whatever your will may be for our lives that we would live with a boldness and conviction that You are all we Need, You are all we Desire.
Separate us Lord from the things of this world, awaken our hearts and consume our souls.
Create a hunger in us Lord that can only be satisfied with more of you.
Show us what true need is---to become sons and daughters that need only You.
We Long to Hear from You God
We Long to Be Consumed by Your Peace God.
We Long to Worship You In every season of our lives.
Hear the cries of your people God--A people hungry and desperate for more of You.


Turn my eyes to see Your Face
As all my fears surrender
Hold my heart within this grace
Where burden turns to wonder

I will fight to follow
I will fight for love
Throw my life forever
To the triumph of the Son

Let Your love be my companion
In the war against my pride
Long to break all vain obsession
'Till You're all that I desire

Turn my eyes to see Your face
As all my fears surrender
Hold my heart within this grace
Where burden turns to wonder

I will fight to follow
I will fight for love
Throw my life forever
To the triumph of the Son

Hillsong United- "Love is War"




Monday, July 21, 2014

May Your Praise Be Louder than Your Pain


I love the movement that is going on right now where worship bands are becoming the focus on the radio, where concerts are taking place that draw hundreds of people together for the soul purpose of joining together and worshiping our creator.  I LOVE that there are hundreds of singers and songwriters that are trained and gifted in leading others into worship and where the focus is less on entertainment and more on desiring God's presence.

However, I think there is a danger in all of this--the danger of thinking that our worship has to be perfect, radio-ready, and trained in order to be pleasing to the Lord.  Now, I'm not saying that striving for greatness or that being equipped in what you do is wrong--I believe that we should do everything with excellence--but I also feel that sometimes our purest form of worship to God is not always pretty.

Worship is quite simple and yet we seem to over complicate it.  Worship is simply praising God for who He is beyond what we can fathom and understand--it is choosing to seek God, to put our hope in Him, and to trust Him beyond all that we can see, feel, and touch.  Worship is simply surrender.

So often when our worship needs to be the greatest (when our surrender is the hardest) is when we are facing life's greatest challenges, hurts, and pains.  I don't know about you but when my eyes are filled with tears, and my voice is choked with sobs---its not always a joyful noise that is coming from my lips.  I sometimes shy away from worship because my song is not always pretty.

When your eyes are filled with tears, when your voice is choked with sobs, when the sound that comes from your lips is weary, flat, or cracked---SING OUT.  God is looking for the melody that plays over your soul--He is looking for the song that your heart sings.  He delights (I love that word! Don't you?) in our hearts and when we choose to worship Him in the midst of where we are and what we feel.  When we put our focus on His hope and in trusting in Him, the noise from our lips is a symphony to Him.

Don't hold back your worship when your heart is heavy...Let Your Praise Be Louder Than Your Pain.

God Delights In You.



Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Protecting the Peace


This year as I made the Journey to the Desperation Conference in Colorado Springs, Colorado.  I really felt like God had a word He was going to speak to me.  The entire conference, I kept waiting for this big, powerful, profound word--the word that would change the course of my life and give me clear direction as to what God's will was for my family.  I kept looking for it in the intense moments of worship, in the amazing and powerful words of the speakers.  Last year, we were prophesied over, I had visions, and even felt the presence of God so close I could feel Him--I went this year looking for something as grand, if not grander.

This year though--my word/encounter from God did not come until Friday morning. The last day of the conference, the day when you have to push through the exhaustion, the morning when the coffee just isn't working anymore----The first worship set started and suddenly I was overwhelmed by a wave of peace.  This peace felt luxurious--it washed completely over me.  Everything stilled and I just felt like God said to me..."Feel This? Protect This...Protect The Peace."

The Gift of Peace---It had been so long since I had been completely emerged in God's peace that I had forgotten that this is what we should feel all the time--everyday--every season--in our deepest need--in our greatest joy--PEACE.

"You Don't Have To Try So Hard," He spoke over me, "the path is already set before you."
"Stop seeking the things of this world--and pour all your emotions into seeking me."

So often we forget and we become consumed by our everyday, we overwhelm ourselves with desperately trying to find God's will through worldly tasks, to even overload ourselves with Ministry--when God simply wants us to live in His peace.

His peace gives direction
His peace gives clarity
His peace gives wisdom
His peace gives rest
His peace gives purpose
His peace gives passion

And so that big, bold, powerful word that I was looking for to change my life, wasn't what I was expecting--and yet, this simple word has the power to change my entire life.  PEACE

When you feel overwhelmed by this life----Protect the Peace.


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

With Every Breath...

With Every Breath I will Sing Your Praise
When There are no Words I will Scream Your Name
My Heart Can't Contain All I Feel For You

I Lift These Hands in Bold Surrender
I Breathe You In
You Speak To Me With Words So Sweet
All I Can Say In Reply Is Your Name

To Say Your Name is Just a Breath Away
With All I Am--With All I Have-I am Yours
I Am only Assured This One Breath
But Lord It is Yours

With All I Am--I Scream Your Name
From My Depths--I Sing Out
HALLELUJAH--JESUS--You are All I Need

To Say Your Name Is Just a Breath Away
It May Be All I Have But You Are All I Need
With This Breath I Scream Your Name
Jesus

Monday, June 2, 2014

To Say Your Name


We long for power...we long for control...we long for strength;
but we have no power in our own hands, in our own words, in our own abilities...
Our only power is in crying out the name of Jesus.

To Say His Name Is Just A Breath Away.
One Breath is all the Power You Need.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Be Brave

BE BRAVE

This phrase keeps washing over me day after day these past few months.  For years, I have tried to find that bravery in my own strength, always falling short, always feeling that I just didn't have enough to face all that I was up against.  Bravery always felt like something to achieve, something to strive towards, something to work towards.....one day...one day I will be brave.

Today is the Day.  Today is your Day to be Brave.  Your Greatest Battle is at Hand.

Lift up those hands.  Surrender your own strength.  
Your Bravery sits not in your hands but in your heart.  
Overwhelm your heart with the Love of God.  
His Love for you is your strength.
He pours out His strength over you.
You have a heart of a warrior.
You have the strength of a Lion.
Your God overwhelms you with His love.
Your Bravery is not in what You Can do.
Your Bravery is in remaining in the presence of the One
who longs to fight your battles for you.

Our Victory is in Surrender...not to the battles at hand but 
to the One who reigns Victorious over all the Earth.  

TODAY IS THE DAY. TODAY IS YOUR DAY TO BE BRAVE. 
YOUR GREATEST BATTLE IS AT HAND.  

To Be Brave is not the absence of fear, it is remaining in the presence 
of the One who casts out all Fear.




Friday, May 9, 2014

When the Spirit Cries (Out)


Its a natural release to cry--when our bodies are overcome, whether it be with joy, sadness, longing, or exhaustion.

Have you ever been so overcome, that your Spirit longs to cry out?

Set aside all your circumstances
Set aside all your earthly feelings

Have you ever just longed to set it all aside and be so consumed, so overwhelmed by God's Presence?
You scream, you sing out--purging all earthly emotion--crying out, screaming out, singing out for your God--The Lover of Your Soul.

I long to push all this earthly emotion aside...
Scream out for my Savior
Scream out for His clarity
Scream out for His Presence

Oh God, reveal Yourself to us.  We scream out for your revelation, we fall to our knees in desperation--for your joy can not be contained.
All that I am screams to you.  
Take this weary heart and fill it with passion for greater things.
I can't contain this stirring for you...
My inner Spirit needs to scream out.  All that I am--Is all for You.
All that I need--I seek from You.
My life is your creative canvas--create in me something new.  
My cry is to be a vibrant display of just a glimpse of you. 

There is a passion that stirs, a desperation that cries out,
a scream so deep my heart quakes for You.
Just a glimpse, just a glimmer...Lord, we long for you to deliver..Just a word, just a touch, just the feeling of your presence.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Whispers on Your Heart




God has spoken something over you--something that seems impossible--
something you can't comprehend with your own understanding.

Do You Believe His Promise?
Do You Believe He is Capable?
What is Your Response?
Have you Penned a Song of Praise?

Write a song of praise to God today for all that He has whispered into your heart.  You may not understand the timing, the specifics, or the how--but God hasn't asked you to.  God asks for a willing heart, an obedient heart, a heart that believes that He is who He says He is.  

Sit down and pen a song of praise to God.  Sing that song out everyday and everyday sing it louder and bolder.  When the seeds of doubt threaten to take root--fill your heart with so much praise for who God is and all that He is capable of that there is no room for worry, fear, or anxiousness.

Your song is your testimony.  
Don't sing of what you don't know...
Sing of who you know. 

Your God has filled your heart with purpose, He has whispered words of promise over you.
Sing Your Song of Praise because your God is Who He Says He is...
What He has spoken will not come back void.

Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

He is capable--though He may whisper...
He is powerful--though He may be calm...
It is in the gentle whispers, where His calm presence overwhelms our hearts, 
where His power transforms His promise into something of great purpose.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Expecting Hearts


As I walk down the aisles of the local store, I see the shelves and shelves full of easter bunnies, candies of every kind, eggs in every color, and baskets of every shape and size.  Its so easy to get in the mindset of, just another year, just another easter!  Easter bunnies and baskets are just a fun tradition of a cultural holiday, but I wonder as Christians, how many times we let the season pass us by and think to ourselves, "Just another Easter."

Growing up in Christian school and going to church as a family, I studied God.  I studied the Bible, I memorized scriptures, I was tested on the qualities and characteristics of God.  I studied God but did I really know God?  It wasn't until I was in my late twenties that I truly realized that while I knew of God and pursued His word---I had never really understood or pursued Relationship with God.   Studying God built my foundation, reading His word strengthened my understanding, but pursuing relationship has transformed my faith.

It is easy to get burnt out on faith, on religion, on church when we merely study God at a distance.  Its so easy to just think to ourselves--just another Sunday, just another Service.  When you are in relationship with God, you go from sitting at a distance, looking on from afar, to sitting face to face and seeing for yourself that God has something to say to you today.  Relationship creates an excitement in you because you long to see and hear what God has to say to you each and everyday.  He is not just the God of the Old Testament, He is not just the God of the New Testament, He is not just the God who dwells in the church----He is the God of your awakening, He is the God of you slumber, He is the God of His most Holy Temple--YOU.  Relationship changes Everything.

This year, as Easter approaches, lets focus on encountering God.  Lets have an excitement, a stirring in our souls, because it's not just another Easter--Its an opportunity to celebrate your relationship with God, for who He is, for who He was, and for all that He has done to pursue relationship with You.

This is not just another Year, This is not just another Service.  This is Your Year, This is Your Service.

Expecting Hearts Experience Extravagant Encounters.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Captured Chaos


Do you know what the beauty of photography is?  
To me it is the captured moment.
It is the moment of calm that you find in the midst of all the chaos.

I had a friend text me and say, "Thanks for Capturing our Chaos."  I thought about that and laughed because isn't that the truth!  We know of all the tears, the kiddos that just didn't want to sit still, the bribery with M&M's (sometimes for both kids and parents!), the stress of just trying to get a few good photos.  Others will see the developed picture though and have no idea the back story behind it--they will simply just see a captured moment of a family smiling together in perfect unity.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret--not every picture a photographer takes is good or even usable (Shh, I know..shocking!).  Sometimes it takes hundreds of photos just to find the few that are frame worthy.  I used to be so hard on myself because I would want to just click my camera and have a perfect picture come out--I got so mad when I would sit down and find only 10 good photos in the midst of 100.  I longed to be perfect like every other photographer (because we always believe everyone else has it all figured out).

I realized though that you have to take lots of pictures in order to find that one moment of calm in the midst of all the chaos.  If you don't keep clicking, keep refocusing, you will miss that split second moment when a smile erupts, when eyes sparkle, and when a personality is captured by a simple expression.  You can't give up because you never know when that moment will come.

Life is a lot like photography.  There is chaos all around us--events in our life that make us think that there is no way we can capture any beauty in the midst of all this.  The devil attacks us with every obstacle there is and everything inside of us just wants to give up, but then that still small voice inside us says--don't give up, don't give in, keep trying.

Not everyone will understand your journey and all the work you have put into becoming who you are.  Not everyone will see your depth or your fight or your unwillingness to give up.  People only get to see captured moments--when everything looks simple, normal, and fine.  My encouragement to you though is to look at those pictures and moments in your life, remember all the chaos behind the scenes, and smile big because while it may have taken a hundred tries, you did it.  You are stronger than you think you are.  You are more beautiful than you think you are.  Your life has more purpose than what you think it does.  You are God's workmanship, His art--You my dear are frame worthy.

Don't stop capturing life's moments, no matter how chaotic things may get because there is ALWAYS beauty in the midst of chaos, you just have to be willing to look for it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Eliminate



Have you ever tried to give something up cold turkey?  If you have, then you understand the 7 stages of grief one goes through in trying to painfully let go of what has become a habit, a dear friend, and a constant companion.  I don't know about you but coffee to me is considered a friend--a very, very dear friend.  It has been a week and a half since I've last had a cup of coffee and to put all my emotions into a nutshell--it has not been pleasant.  The love, the comfort, the routine--coffee to me was like a giant blanket and without it, I suddenly was not sure what I was supposed to do.

Luckily, I will not have to say goodbye to my dear friend permanently (My husband has just sighed in relief) but for the next month and a half, I am on what is called an Elimination Diet.  The name sums up the agony justly--you basically eliminate everything from your diet and then gradually add things back in to see what you are eating that is causing your body to be sick.  Its not just the unhealthy foods that you would immediately think of, but its also normal, healthy, common, everyday foods that we don't even think twice about eating.

Elimination is painful--we grow so accustomed to our habits, to our emotions (whether good or bad), to our routines, and to our identities.  We are a culture that is used to adding things but very rarely do we ever eliminate.

I think of Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

What is God asking us to eliminate from our lives?  What are we holding on to so tightly, not willing to let go of, but which is slowly killing us each and every day?  

When we think of giving ourselves up as living sacrifices, we often think this means giving up our dreams, goals, desires.  I truly believe what this verse means is that God wants us to eliminate everything of this world from our lives, so that He can re-introduce the things of eternity into our hearts.  He wants to strip away these dying bodies, these vessels that are poisoned everyday by the things of this world and He wants to fill us with His power and His righteousness so that His dreams, goals, and desires become ours.  We hold onto death, but God longs to give us life.  He longs to heal us, to renew us, to set us apart, but we must be willing to first let go.  Sacrifice is not easy on any scale, whether it is a cup of coffee, a dream for the future, or a hurt from the past.  Anyone who tells you it is easy, hasn't truly sacrificed something.  

Its time to evaluate every aspect of our lives--the good and the bad, its time to be willing to sacrifice our comfort zones, our routines, our identities wholly and completely  to God.  

Elimination hurts, it is a painful process but if you will just hold on---the healing is worth it.  You are worth it.  You can do this.  You have a future of life ahead of you, its time to let go of what is keeping you from your purpose.  The dreams and purpose God has for you is beyond what you can even fathom.  He holds your future but He is waiting for your willing heart.

Don't be discouraged, Don't be overwhelmed--Your God is Here...
Hold On....Your Healing is near.