He Calms The Storm Within

Sometimes there is no need for words....just the need for stillness.

Show Me Your Glory

I see the cloud, I step in
I want to see Your glory as Moses did
Flashes of light and rolls of thunder
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory, my God...
Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I’m marked by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes
I want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did
Your glory surrounds me and I’m overwhelmed
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory, my God...
Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love
Long to stay in Your presence, it's where I belong
Oh how we love You, oh how we love You
Oh how we love You, Jesus

(Show Me Your Glory--Jesus Culture)

Then Sings My Soul

You remind me again and again...that "By Faith" does not mean "Without Pain."

My heart was made to worship. I have never felt so close to the presence of God, the feeling of Heaven touching Earth, as when spontaneous worship erupts and the cries of the soul get to escape and exclaim the greatness of our God.  It is when I sing of Who God is that I begin to understand who I am.  The ways of this world melt away, petty problems, insecurities, burdens they have no place when God's glory fills a room and overwhelms the temples of His people.  There is Authoritative Power when worship overflows and God answers the cries of His people.

There are those seasons where you get to lead others into that awe, into those moments, where God uses you in a mighty way and you are humbled to be His instrument.  

But then....there are those Season where God calls you to His Mountain.  Like Moses, He pulls you away, He asks of you to make the hard climb to meet with Him and Him alone.  To Sing His praises to an audience of One.

I have noticed that all the "By Faith" individuals of the Bible (Hebrews 11), not only got to encounter the Glory and Presence of God but also had to endure some of the loneliest and hardest lives ever written about. They all dealt with sacrifice and loss.

I wonder as Moses made His journey up the mountain to encounter God, if his heart was ever pulled back to the people--if He ever wondered if they would forget about him, if they would move on, if someone would take his place.  He was going to encounter the God of the Universe.  He was getting ready to see the glory and the presence of the very being that He was leading those people towards and yet I wonder if His earthly desires made Him question His spiritual calling.

How many times has God asked of us to pull ourselves away to meet with Him, to encounter Him in a life changing way?  So many times Christians will talk about what they left to answer to the calling of Ministry--the high paying jobs, the expensive cars, the comfortable homes BUT yet we very rarely hear about the ones that God asked to step down from their platforms of ministry, to leave their roles of leadership to spend seasons seeking God and God alone.  This calling is one of the hardest because it requires complete sacrifice and trust--It is walking through the valley and up the mountain in complete isolation and separation from all you know and wondering if you will return the same...if what you left will still be there when you return.  THAT IS ANSWERING THE CALL.  

When we are standing on the mountain top, in the presence of God and God alone--do we still sing with the same authority and passion?  When we don't know what tomorrow holds, when the comforts of yesterday are gone...when God has called us to THIS very moment...Is being in His presence enough?

This has made me re-evaluate ministry...to ask the Hard question of Who are we serving?

Walking into your calling is not pain free....it hurts, it rips at your heart, it asks of you more than you think you have to give.  Sacrifice rips you raw---it takes everything you thought you knew, everything you thought you were and it leaves you completely vulnerable and exposed.  

We must train our ear on the one who calls---the one who writes His covenant and promises on our Hearts, the one who reveals His glory to us in such a mighty way that we can never leave the mountain the same.  He who calls is faithful.  He will not forsake me.  

And so I climb the mountain of uncertainty, singing His praises at the top of my lungs.

Letting the tears of sacrifice fall onto the alter of promise.

Keeping my head up--anxiously awaiting the God who waits for me with outstretched arms...

For He is My Calling.

It is For Him that My Soul Sings.

Awaiting His Praise...

There are days that come and it seems that pains from the past, questions about the future, and longings of the present overwhelm my spirit.  It seems when all those thoughts and emotions weigh heavily on my mind that I begin a downward spiral of questioning my worth--who I am--who I was meant to be.  I feel lost and overcome by an emptiness.

It is always in those times though that I feel this gentle leading to embrace that emptiness and to pull out a blank piece of paper, to put on some worship music, and to just soak in God's praise and await His words.

He takes that emptiness that the enemy tries to bond us in and uses the openness, the clean canvas--to fill us with Hope and anticipation. He doesn't require us to fill the pages with our own understanding or to paint the picture of our own worth or future. He transforms the emptiness with words of truth and love and Hope.  He speaks over us, He reveals Himself to us, and He opens our eyes to who He has designed us to be.

It is in our praise to our creator that the enemies hold is destroyed--it is when we give our hearts to God, that the Spirit intercedes, the darkness is filled with light and our unknowns become songs of Hallelujah-- changing our mindset from fear to awe.

When I am at a loss for words--He floods the pages.
I surrender control, I simply become His instrument, and suddenly it is His words that flow through me.

When I praise Him--When I surrender my circumstances, when I turn my hurts and unknowns into Hallelujah's, He lavishes His praises over me and I overflow--I burst at the seams with completeness.

When I sing of Who He is--I suddenly Know who I am.

Hillsong- Transfiguration (Open Heaven/River Wild)

From the cloud you speak
What was veiled now is seen
Jesus the image of
The invisible God

Divinity confirmed
In the transfigured word
That kingdom once conceived
On earth now revealed

Holy is the Lord revealed before my eyes
And my burning heart can scarcely take it in
As I behold your beauty with unworthy eyes
The only song my soul can find to sing
Is Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah my King

Lead my longing heart
To the high ground to the clear view
Ending nor' I'll be there
Beholding You

Holy is the Lord revealed before my eyes
And my burning heart can scarcely take it in
As I behold your beauty with unworthy eyes
The only song my soul can find to sing
Is Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah my King

Now I know
I have seen
The glory that can not be unseen
I am changed
Changing Still
As I look upon the Lord and Pray

More than Coffee Mugs and Running Shoes

This posting is a little different than my normal ones because its not as poetic or artistic...its the nitty gritty truth of what life sometimes looks like and the desperate need we find ourselves in for being stripped completely to our core and being repurposed by God. Letting go of who we think we are and letting God reveal to us who and whose we are...

I have ALWAYS been one to push myself and to prove myself, which is probably why i have gotten myself to this place of complete and utter burnout. We have recently moved--packed up our 3 bedroom house and moved them all in a u-haul 3.5 hrs north to a small 2 bedroom apartment.  I have gone back into the office after working from home for 3 years and my husband recently left his job and is now in the Army.  These are just the highlights of the last 6 months--they do not even scratch the surface of all that we have accomplished, endured, and survived within the last 5 years together. We are troopers to say the least--but these earthly bodies sure can't keep up.

As anyone with adrenal fatigue can tell you--you finally get to that place of deep and utter burnout where you feel like you are falling into a dark hole that is never ending.  It was taking me 3-5 cups of coffee a day just to be able to push myself along.  Everyday was filled with desperation and tears. Life became an act of survival and I was not becoming very good at it.

One of the key areas of trying to jump start my adrenal recovery that I have really struggled with has been giving up caffeine, giving up sugar, and giving up running.  I have felt like 2 of those 3 have really defined me and yet it is these very things that are trying to drain the life right out of me.

I was praying the other night for wisdom and direction.  Crying out to God because I wanted more for my life--I wanted to thrive, I wanted to be happy, be at peace and full of joy. I was tired of living in this darkness.  I felt God ask me to give up any strongholds that were in my life.  This was really hard for me to hear because it has seemed that over the last few years, I have already been asked to give up and to sacrifice a lot.  I had been holding on to my coffee and to my cardio--grasping them as hard as I could because I felt that if I let go--that somehow I would disappear with them.  Now when I heard my self say that last sentence is when I knew that it was time for a change.  Who lets a cup of coffee and a pair of running shoes define their very existence?  Who thinks that if they don't run those 20 miles a week that somehow their entire existence will be stripped away? or if they don't get those 100 instagram photos at the newest/latest/hippist coffeeshop that somehow they will not be trendy anymore?  Crazy talk my friends..just crazy.

I have taken the plunge and I have given up coffee and caffeine for healing!  I am in the process of re-evaluating my vitamin and supplement intake and I am pinning "whole food" recipes like a mad woman.  i am determined..I will change how I approach things and how I see things.  I will not let my circumstances define my existence and I will not allow my identity to be formed by  food, drink, or hobbies.  I AM A CHILD OF GOD--CREATED FOR A GREAT PURPOSE.

Its time to allow God to use me, to give Him a workable canvas and to see what He will create and repurpose from my willingness.

We don't fast because we hope for God to give us something in the end--we fast because it is something that we can give to God today.  He has asked...and I am ready to answer and I am excited to see how He and He alone will bring healing to my willing heart and hands in this journey of recovery.

I am excited to see who I truly am apart from everything that I thought once defined me...
I am ready for this new season.
I am ready for newness. I am ready to come out of the darkness and into His light.

It is day 5 and I am Caffeine Free--Excess Sugar Free--and Cardio Free.
My plan is to nourish my need for mugs by sipping on herbal teas, I plan to stock my pantry and fridge with Healthy, organic, whole foods to sustain and equip my body and I plan to incorporate yoga, breathing, and lots of good for the soul down time.

I am doing this for my longing for children, my longing to draw closer to the heart of God,
my desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman for my husband and family, and lastly for Me--because at 32 (almost 33) years old...I'd like to know what it feels like to not be at war with myself.

To Healing....Cheers.

Stepping out in faith and away from my coffee mug :)

be still

Peace

Every evening He paints the sky with His faithfulness

and Every morning His Light breaks through the dark

He has overcome so that we may have Peace

Glory and Wonder

Currently Listening To: Glory and Wonder--Live (Mosaic MSC)

There are songs of anointing--songs that you hear and your soul feels as if its heard the melody before.  Songs that bring you back to a familiar place that resonates to every part of your being.

Songs of anointing are melodies used by God to speak promises over us.  They sound so familiar because His words are always truth--they never change, they are the words He has spoken over us from a very early age.

Our ear may have not been trained to hear or listen or to understand what it is He is speaking to us, but our Soul has saved every word, it has transposed every melody into the very stitching of our being.

And so you walk, you listen, you hear a song and it sounds familiar and suddenly you are overcome with Gods empowering words washing over you.  The melody may be new but His love for you has never changed and the soul awakens to its deep and pleading need to encounter the presence and overwhelming sense of being simply His.

Heaven meets Earth in a few simple notes and we get to see the rays of His Glory stretch out across the sky.  He sings melodies over you...words so powerful that a song can't contain them--the sky explodes in glory and wonder.

The Wilderness Within

I crave this wilderness that you have called me to.

I crave this deep dependence to only You.

I do not fear the cries at night or the howls of the dark

because it is only your whispers that I seek out.

You overwhelm me with your presence and 

wash over me with your promise--I am Yours.

My soul longs for this place of stillness, where battles

are being won and bondages are undone.

You have called me to this land of barrenness, 

You have emptied me of all I know,

Filling me with your wonder.

Take me deeper into this wilderness,

call me your child of promise,

lead me out of distraction, 

'till I search for only You.

You are my Promise

Eyes of Strength...

I was looking through my Instagram feed and am always overwhelmed by the number of "motivational fitness" posts that show ladies taking pictures of their biceps, or showing their toned bellies.  Am I the only one that has noticed the irony of the motivational posts always leading to comparison and discouragement?  I've never been one to be motivated through shame (I hear it works for dogs though).

I was running at the gym and when the sun sets the windows become giant mirrors.  (Okay..so where you are supposed to look when you are running right in front of them?  You feel vain if you look at yourself, you feel like a creeper if you watch everyone else...) I couldn't help but notice my reflection in the window and my first instinct was to compare myself to the pictures online and to beat myself up over not being strong enough, toned enough, fast enough...the list goes on and on.

I heard God's voice say "stop." I forced myself to look at myself differently. I took my focus off of my inadequacies and instead looked at my eyes. In those eyes I saw someone that was strong, I saw someone that was determined,  I saw someone that was pushing through the hard times, I saw someone who was rising above and for the first time in a long time....I was proud of that person.

Are we allowed to be proud of ourselves?  I've always been one to push myself to do more, to expect more, to want more.  I have always lived in fear that if I allowed myself to be proud (or heaven forbid even like myself), that somehow I would become lazy, or prideful.  

As women we have this tendency to find our worth or our strength in our accomplishments and our to-do lists.  We measure the quality of our day by the number of check marks and we place our worth on whether or not our lists measures up to everyone else's.  The lists never end and someone always seems to accomplish something new or something more (thank you Pinterest)...the cycle always continues. 

I was standing on that treadmill and I just decided that I was tired of living defeated,

I was tired of constant comparison and the overwhelming fear of not being enough. 

I was weary of beating myself up and forcing myself to do more.

I simply wanted to take a deep breath, smile and feel like I was enough at that very moment.

When you are looking in the mirror---begin to look at yourself differently.  Your strength does not come in toned biceps or a defined belly---your strength comes from the sparkle in your eye that says I am Enough, I can do this, I can conquer this, I will not give up.

You have worked really hard to get where you are today.  Many prayers, sweat, and tears have gone into getting you to where you stand right at this moment, and while it doesn't mean that your journey is done or that you don't have room to grow, it does mean that its okay to be proud of the eyes that look back at you in the mirror.

You are stronger than you think.

So in this new year of goals and lists...make sure to put at the top of your list to be true to YOU.

Find the right motivation and pay more attention to the sparkle in your eyes then your shape or size.

You are Enough...

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

More than a Glimpse...

Isaiah 40: 3-5

A voice cries:
"In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain. And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

I was really thinking about this verse, trying to dig into the deeper meaning, the symbolism of it's words and its purpose and then it hit me...

I in-vision a video game where all of a sudden a mountain falls and a valley rises to meet it.  I see rocks being destroyed and pot holes being filled.  There is this openness, a vastness, unobstructed and as far as the eye can see.  Suddenly, there is a light--so bright and so powerful, nothing stands in its way--there are no shadows.  Everything illuminates the source and magnifies its radius.  Even though there is emptiness, there is fullness.

I think about the wilderness that I am standing in...what mountains stand in my way?  What are the things in my life that obstruct my view, that keep me in constant shadow?  What valleys lie before me?  What are the areas in my life that are raw and exposed and that need lifted and strengthened?  What are the rocks and pebbles that keep my feet from walking on level ground?  And finally, what are the pits and the holes that need to be filled?

In this place of wilderness--I am preparing the way of the LORD.  I am creating an openness that can be filled completely and overwhelmingly by God and God alone.  This place of wilderness is where God reveals His glory and His presence with no obstruction.

To see your light, your warmth on my face, 

to feel covered and consumed by your power and strength.

I want more than a glimpse.

The Call to the Wilderness

Jeremiah 2:2 ..."I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown."

To Find Yourself, You Must Be Willing to get Lost in Me.

I keep hearing the word "wilderness" pressed onto my heart and into my mind over and over again.

This past year was full of so many accomplishments, so many events and activities, a lot of moments I will treasure in my heart and even more moments that I will toss into God's sea of grace; however, as I stand on the day where we look back over our year--I am consumed and overwhelmed by weariness.  On this eve of approaching the blank pages of a year to come....my resolution is rest.

God brought me to the book of Jeremiah this week and the words that He has been speaking over my heart today are confirmed by words written hundreds of years ago. Jeremiah 6:16 "Thus says the LORD: Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, 'We will not walk in it.'

Are we finding rest for our souls?  Is God showing us an ancient path and asking us to walk on it, but we are replying to him, "I will not walk in it."  We so often think that this response of "I will not walk in it" is one that is made out of defiance, one that is out of a heart of rebellion and pride but I think more often than not we as Christians are speaking this back to God, completely unaware.  We justify our response because we are often trying to do "His work" or trying to grow "His church." We tell God that we can not rest because the calling is great and there is much to be done... 

Why is it that families are breaking, spirits are overwhelmed and exhausted, chaos consumes, and disorganization overwhelms and yet we call it "God's work."  Every verse that God has been leading me to speaks of rest, speaks of bearing fruit, speaks of fountains of living waters--If God's path is rest...then why are His people overwhelmed by weariness?

Jeremiah 2:13 "for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." 

When you take inventory over your life---are your cabinets full of broken cisterns that hold no water? (You will know this if you are weary, tired, burnt-out, overwhelmed, defeated, etc...)

God spoke to me the other day and He simply stated, 

"It is Man's heart that pleases me, not his hands."

It's time to take inventory of our heart (our cabinet).  It is time to go back to the days of devotion, the days of following God in the wilderness.  To hear His voice, to know His call, to understand His path; to separate ourselves from distraction and confusion and to allow God to break our hearts of clay, our broken cisterns, so that we can emerge rested and renewed, full of His living water--pure and set apart.

My Prayer for 2015...

Take me deep into your wilderness O God, that I may get lost in your wonder, that I may be consumed by your words.  Teach me to hear your whispers and to cling to your presence.  Break these broken cisterns of weariness and create in me a heart that is overwhelmed by your living water.

Plant my feet firmly on your paths of rest, press upon me your compass of truth, teach me to follow your peace.  O God, take me into your wilderness that I may enter into your land of promise.

Do Less...Be More

You are God's precious creation---created at conception with worth---created with a mighty purpose.

I was supposed to sing a big song this past Sunday at Church--a song that has been so etched into my heart that my soul just longed to sing out its declaration, not only to the church but also over my own life.  I longed to sing "It is Well" -- I longed for Heaven to hear my cry, my soul's desire, I longed for this declaration in the midst of everything in my life.  

In the days leading up to Sunday though I caught the seasonal cold/flu.  I thought to myself, okay, I can do this--I can get over this.  If I just push through-- I can control this.  A few days later, I then found out I had strep-throat.  A doctors appointment and some antibiotics later, I was still determined that I was going to prove to myself and to God that it was still well with my soul.  Then...I lost my voice.  I didn't get to sing my song and my fight to prove that I could Do it landed me in bed--exhausted, feverish, and sick..

I had thought for some reason that God would somehow hear my heart if I could just prove to Him my determination and my deepest desire to be close to Him.  I wanted Him to know my worth, I wanted Him to know my strength, I wanted to remind Him of my purpose. I know that sounds so silly to say---to tell the all knowing God of the universe my purpose, strength, and worth. 

That evening (realizing now I should have probably stayed home, but so glad that I didn't) we had the church Christmas party and at the end we all sang worship together.  I tried again so hard to sing and yet nothing came out.  I was forced to stand there as everyone around me sang and I had to just be still and listen.  Such beauty surrounded me---melodies from hearts of others that were crying out to their God.  I was overwhelmed that I got to be a part of something so strong, something so sweet, something so powerful.

I stood there, held out my hands and just received from God His goodness and His peace, and His promises.  He washed over me and my heart and I didn't have to do a thing.  I was mute and yet He heard my heart.  I was barely able to stand and yet He was my strength.  

It was if he was telling me, "Stephanie, Stop Doing and Just Be In My Presence."

Why is that we feel we must prove our worth or our hearts to God?  

Why is it that we think we must do something great in order for God to hear our cries? 

Why is it that we think we must be perfect before God can use us or desire us?

It is in our brokenness.  It is in our weakness.  It is in our weariness.  

It is in our stillness.  It is in our surrender.  It is in the quiet. 

It is in all these things that God meets us, hears us, and surrounds us with His presence.

It is not in our power--but in His.  It is not in our doing--but in His.  It is not our will--but His.

This post is to encourage ourselves to stop doing and to start being.

We do not have to do anything to win God's favor.

Your heart is held by the creator of the universe and whether you scream from the top of a mountain or whisper within the hidden places---Your God hears every word, every cry, every desire. 

Your hand is held by the Great I Am---not because of anything you have done to earn His embrace but simply because He longs to be near to you.

You do not have to prove your worth to God----so stop trying to prove your worth to yourself.

You my love...........just simply have to BE.

Is it Well With Your Soul?

I read a blog written by Craig McConnell last week and was captivated by the words and the thoughts behind worship and wonder that He spoke of...

Worship has more to do with the posture of our hearts than the movement of our lips; it’s what naturally happens when a person encounters the wild, beautiful and holy/other God. In the presence of God worship is inevitable—it cannot be suppressed.  In His presence all things fall into their proper place: kings of the earth bow; sinners fall on their faces in repentance; death’s sting is lost; evil and its pawns are vanquished; there is no cancer, hopeless or despair; the blind see; the deaf hear; and there is joy—so much joy.

 He further wrote of his current battle with cancer and His desperation for worship in the midst of the unknowns and the fears...

It was new ground for me… messy, profound… deeply personal. As I cried out for relief I also found myself worshipping, praising, adoring, and thanking God for the comfort, strength, and hope of his presence. I praised him for life, for heaven, for his goodness and grace. Again and again I recited Psalm 23, clinging to the truth that, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me.” It wasn’t poetic, but it was passionate and burning... birthed in and from my pain. None of my circumstances changed. I still had a fever and was in pain. My cancer didn’t disappear but everything faded like the old hymn says: “And the things of this world grew strangely dim.” Everything found its proper place. I was anchored to my Father, without fear. I was good. Cancer’s despair lost its grip on me and I worshipped as I may never have done before. 
(http://andsonsmagazine.com/08/love-and-wonder#.VGvKl75RHww)

We sang the song "It is Well" this past weekend at church and it brought me back to a place of evaluating my worship and my wonder for God.  I had to ask myself the hard question, "If God gives you nothing, will you still give Him everything?"  How often do we worship God seeking nothing in return?  So many churches are teaching a prosperity gospel.  Preaching that God is just waiting to give you promotion, money, success, fame, health.  I believe that we serve a God that is capable of giving us all those things--but He never promised us those things.  In fact when the disciples decided to follow after Christ and live a life of worship to Him, They lost EVERYTHING.

With my hands raised and my heart raw, I sing out to God..."IT IS WELL, IT IS WELL, WITH MY SOUL."  At that place of surrender and worship there is an overwhelming wave of peace,  a filling of purpose, and an awakening of our souls.  The things we carry fall to our sides, our needs and our wants fade away, and we realize that we have always had EVERYTHING we will ever need.
Our prosperity is in a God who reveals Himself to His people, who sings with them in the midst of their greatest trials and who Holds their hands high in their hardest battles.

"In His Presence All Things Fall Into Their Proper Place."  Worship is our way of entering into the throne room of God.  It is our way of experiencing Heaven on Earth.

Our prosperity is His Presence.
and in His Presence there is Peace.

I long for a life of prosperity, a life of living out my days in the Presence of God's wonder, overwhelmed by His peace and His joy no matter what circumstances may come.

My longing and hearts cry for worship is to be able to sing out over my circumstances---It is Well With My Soul.

When You Fail...

The definition of grace has never been more profound to my soul then in this current season.
GRACE--unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification.

There is the excitement of God speaking so profoundly into your life, the knowledge and understanding that God is whispering into your ear "this is the way you should go."  God in all His foreknowledge prepares our hearts and our minds for the coming season.  But Then..... the season comes, fear overwhelms, and our human hearts get the best of us and we begin to work in our own power and we put our trust in our own hands. 

It does not take long to realize that the only power our hands hold is that of destruction, weariness, discouragement, and chaos.  Our hearts become discouraged and we further our destruction by trying to find our identity, our security, and our purpose in the hearts of others.

It seems that at this point the only way that God can get us on our knees to be in communion with Him is to allow our own bodies to give out.  Our own senses fail us, our own power is not strong enough, and our inner soul collapses and cries out--Oh God, save me from this.  

Where strength fails, grace prevails.

We become empty, 
but as soon as our cry hits heaven's ears,
divine Grace comes and fills us with hope.

How undeserving we are...to know that we hurt the heart of our God and yet with unmerited divine assistance, He reaches from His throne and speaks into our hearts----You are mine and I am Yours. I cry out to Him oh Abba Father--and He calls me His child of purpose.

You whisper over me and my heart screams for You God,

you take my hand and we begin again...

I am Faithful Like The Morning

Not by your power but by mine

will you shine vibrant like the sky.

I am opening the Heavens

that My glory may pour out.

O lift your eyes to the sky

Fill Yourself with Me.

Turn Your weariness to wonder

that you may reflect Heaven's mystery.

I am faithful just like the morning,

though the darkness may rise.

In my light you will find rest.

Be still and see that the Heavens open for you.

I show you my glory that you may

awaken the earth to my wonder

--Shine in My brilliance--

Like a star in the sky

Like mornings first light

Step By Step

A Total Dependence on God

I woke up this morning and this song was playing in my head..."Oh God, You are My God, and I will Ever Praise You...I will seek you in the morning, and I will learn to walk in your ways, and step by step you'll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days."

I like to have a plan.  I'm the type of girl that wants the 3-5 year plan; I want the planner that has everything organized and tells me exactly what I need to do, where I need to be, and what the expectations are.  Lately though, I feel that I need to invest in the world's largest eraser!  It seems that everything I plan ends up getting erased, changed, or moved. 

Giving up control is something that is really hard for me.  To say, "I don't know" is even harder.  In this season of life though it seems that God is asking for me to completely let go, to surrender,  and to trust Him with the plan.  Why is it so hard to trust the God of the universe, the God that created our days and our existence with "the plan"?  

And Step by Step You'll Lead Me, And I will l Follow You All Of My Days.

Faith is the moment before every step-- It is not having the plan, not seeing the vision, and yet trusting that God knows each and every step before we do.  

In previous blogs the theme that God had been placing on my heart was peace, separation, retreating. I wasn't quite sure what these all meant but now that I am in that season of total dependence on God, I understand.  We can not listen for the voice of God with each and every step of our lives if we are constantly distracted, continually busy, and overwhelmed with the voices of others.

When God asks us to retreat, it is with great purpose.  He is preparing your mind, body, and spirit for total dependence on Him.  

So the question today is...Who or What is leading our lives? 

I know that personally, I need to retreat, I need to consume my life with peace, and its time to make some very hard choices in order to be lead completely by God.

I know that I have to give up my plan for His.  Its time to take out that planner and that eraser and create a blank slate for God to work.  My plan is not working, it hasn't been working for a very long time.  I don't want to live a life of pencil and eraser anymore.  I want a life where God uses permanent ink and inscribes on my heart, His will and His plan.  

Is our plan keeping God from revealing His plan?

The heart of a man plans his way, 

but the LORD directs his steps. 

Proverbs 16:9

He Calls Me His Redeemed

Seek HIS Peace

I just have something simple to say tonight, something that I think God wants to inscribe on the hearts of His people.  "You Have Great Worth--Seek Beyond What You Can See."

Seek His Peace

In His Presence You Will Find Rest

In His Rest You Will Find Hope

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 5:5)

I am Your Peace Be Still

Sometimes God speaks to us words of profound wisdom and magnitude and yet when they fall onto our ears we are not quite ready to understand all that they mean.  I was taking a walk along the ocean and just pouring my heart out to God.  So much had happened in the previous weeks and I was questioning God's voice; a voice I was so desperate to hear and yet my mind was starting to doubt and question what was really God and what was me.  As I started my walk I told God just that--"God, I long to hear from you but even now, I can't help but question what is You and what is me."  I felt like God simply replied---Keep talking anyway...Keep listening anyway.

Step by step and prayer by prayer, conversation formed---while I was tentative at first, words of wisdom and truth washed over me and I knew that what was being spoken over me far exceeded anything I could speak over myself.

I laid out to God all that had happened, my broken heart, my weariness, my fear, my insecurities and
on the way back from my walk I felt like God placed a song in my heart..."I am your Rock, Your Shield, I am Your Peace--Be Still."

I believe God puts songs in our hearts for us to face the upcoming storms of life.  I wish I could say, I came back from vacation a new person and that all the wonderful things God had spoken into me changed me to be Brave and Fearless---but truth be told, I quickly got overwhelmed, fear crept back in, and weariness overtook.

The song still plays though, "I am your Rock, Your Shield, I am Your Peace--Be Still."

God gives us profound words to hold onto, they are our life preservers. We may not know what we have yet to face, but God does.  He is our high place in the midst of the storm--our rock; He is our protector against all that attacks--our shield; and He is our peace in the midst of it all.

Keep Talking, Keep Listening...Don't let confusion kill conversation with God.
What you have faced, what you are facing, and what you have yet to face is not new to God--when He places a song in your heart--hold on to it.
His words are a lighthouse in the midst of the raging storm.