There is a core to all of us, a deep seeded dwelling that holds the purpose, plan, and personality that God brought us to this earth with. We were made to glorify a king, to use the abilities he uniquely gifted us with to edify and enhance His kingdom. He gave us personalities, giftings, and a purpose that holds no shame, no blame, and no limits in glorifying our Savior. But just as Adam and Eve covered themselves out of shame and embarrassment, we also hide ourselves behind walls of worldly definition, we tell God that who he made us is not complete, that what he gave to us is not enough, and that we need more to be more. (Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame..Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.)
Who do you say I am? God replied " I am who I am" God hides behind no definition, He defines creation, He defines completeness and the existence of all that is. When someone asks who I am, I am often left to compile a laundry list of items that I feel define my existence: I am a wife, I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a writer, I am an athlete, I am an organizer, I am artistic, I am a professional, I am... When all labels and possessions are stripped away..who am I? (Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.")
We often associate the word simple with common, ordinary, naive, or plain; however, simple also means unaffected, unassuming, not complicated, sincere, and free of deceit or guile. God has placed in my heart a prodding towards returning to simplicity: this prodding has often come in the form of remolding and restructuring my way of thinking and living. He has stripped away the things I once thought defined me and while it left me feeling naked and vulnerable and left me with anxiety and fear in wanting so desperately to hide behind my own definitions once again; God has brought me to a place of freedom and inspiration in not feeling captive and chained to the things of this world. He has shown me that who I am is not dependent on the world around me or on my own abilities. There is peace that washes over me when I give over control and when I allow God to bring me back to the core of my existence, when I allow him to define me, and when I follow His leading and not my own. This of course takes work, it is a daily process of returning to simplicity, it is an inner battle to give over control and some days I am stronger than others but I am more aware now of when this internal battle is taking place. When my desperate need for control rises within me I can realize that something other than God has taken my attention and that I have missed the mark in giving God praise and have fallen once again to my own selfish need for existence.
I watched a movie that had a quote in it that I felt inspired by, in the movie an angel and a man, who was living after his own selfishness, were having a conversation about purpose. The angel tells the man, "It's simple...God is Love so we are to Love, God sacrificed everything so we must sacrifice everything." The man looked at the angel and said, "That's not simple." and the angel replied with, "Sure its simple, its just hard." Tearing down our walls of pride, sacrificing our own praise for the praise of God is simple in nature but hard in application.
True praise and devotion come in giving gifts to God that mean something to us. If what we must sacrifice is not hard or difficult then it must not mean much to us in the first place and is only an empty gift at the feet of a king. Our worship and our praise should cost us everything so that in giving him our all, He can be our everything.
From The Inside Out- Hillsong United
A thousand times I've failed Still your mercy remains And should I stuble again Still I'm caught in your grace Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame My heart and my soul, I give You control Consume me from the inside out Lord Let Jutice and praise, become my embrace To Love You from the inside out Your will above all else, my purpose remains The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Seasons
Stillness is necessary in order to appreciate movement...
Lately as winter seems to linger on and the hope of spring seems yet another day away, I long for the freedom of fresh air, open skies, and the wonder of knowing that my backyard is yet another room for my soul to reside.
I anxiously await the fresh warm breeze coming through my windows, I long for walks listening to the leaves rustle with the wind, and the feeling of warm sunshine washing over my face. My spirit is longing for the movement of the spring season, the growth that it brings, and the life that it renews.
I can't help but also realize that often my life mirrors my desire for the changing seasons. Often I find myself in a season of staleness, craving growth and movement. I am ready to run and yet God says "wait", I am ready for movement and yet God says "be still," I am ready to awaken my lungs and yet God says, "remain silent."
Gloom lingers on in the gray and cold skies above and impatience brings unrest to my overly anxious heart. If the outdoors would just get warmer, if my life just had a new adventure are the thoughts that spur my discontentment.
Stillness is necessary in order to appreciate movement...
You do not know what you are capable of, You do not know who you were created to be until that defining moment when stillness turns to movement and you become aware of the changes that took place to get you where you are. I reflect back on my life, to my seasons of gray, and it makes me appreciate so much more the vibrancy and the hope that I now have in my heart. When I step outside and inhale that sweet warm air, I appreciate it all the more because I know that it is truly a gift.
Stillness is a time to reflect, a time to appreciate all that God has brought us through and all that He has provided us with, it is a season of understanding and praise for a God who follows each season with the hope of another.
Appreciate the movement but reflect on the stillness--the one could not be possible without the other.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Beauty to Behold, Freedom to Create
To sing a song, empowered by such emotion, that my voice stretches to make its power known.
To run such a race, that my body glistens in response to the endurance I put it through.
To write a novel, with words so inspiring, that it provokes thought to those that read it.
To paint with vibrant colors, to leave my presence, a mark of beauty on the ordinary.
We were all born in the image of our creator—A Creator who put within us the desire to sing, run, write, or paint—to bring a mark of beauty within our world, to mirror our heavenly father, and to create something of greatness with our own human hands.
I often find myself desperate for an escape, for a release, to somehow make sense of all that I feel inside by creating beauty from the chaos. I don’t want to medicate the feelings, don’t want to sweep them under a rug, I want to find the beauty in all I feel, the journey life brings me through, I want to give back to God a gift of beauty. It is only in creating that I find peace, that I find understanding, that I make sense of all the colors and textures within my life. It is only in taking the time to understand how all the pieces fit together, how one color compliments another, and how the darkness sometimes brings depth to the light that I can fully understand all that I feel inside.
What I often forget though is that God is the ultimate creator and that while my pieces are original to me, they have always been known to Him. I get so caught up in the design, in the plan, in the originality of life that I lose perspective, I waste my energy and emotion on trying to control rather than create and reflect the image of the creator. My place is to reflect, to utilize, and to make beauty out of what He gives to me. Every day I have the ability to make something beautiful, to be something inspiring—He gives me the gift of being an artist, he gives me the stage, the tools, and the talent. He says to each of us, “sing me a song, run me a race, write me a novel, paint me a portrait.”
It is in our free will to form a melody, to find a path, to open the pages, and to swirl the brush—He gives us freedom to express ourselves, to find ourselves, and to be a part of the beauty that He created in and around all of us.
To run such a race, that my body glistens in response to the endurance I put it through.
To write a novel, with words so inspiring, that it provokes thought to those that read it.
To paint with vibrant colors, to leave my presence, a mark of beauty on the ordinary.
We were all born in the image of our creator—A Creator who put within us the desire to sing, run, write, or paint—to bring a mark of beauty within our world, to mirror our heavenly father, and to create something of greatness with our own human hands.
I often find myself desperate for an escape, for a release, to somehow make sense of all that I feel inside by creating beauty from the chaos. I don’t want to medicate the feelings, don’t want to sweep them under a rug, I want to find the beauty in all I feel, the journey life brings me through, I want to give back to God a gift of beauty. It is only in creating that I find peace, that I find understanding, that I make sense of all the colors and textures within my life. It is only in taking the time to understand how all the pieces fit together, how one color compliments another, and how the darkness sometimes brings depth to the light that I can fully understand all that I feel inside.
What I often forget though is that God is the ultimate creator and that while my pieces are original to me, they have always been known to Him. I get so caught up in the design, in the plan, in the originality of life that I lose perspective, I waste my energy and emotion on trying to control rather than create and reflect the image of the creator. My place is to reflect, to utilize, and to make beauty out of what He gives to me. Every day I have the ability to make something beautiful, to be something inspiring—He gives me the gift of being an artist, he gives me the stage, the tools, and the talent. He says to each of us, “sing me a song, run me a race, write me a novel, paint me a portrait.”
It is in our free will to form a melody, to find a path, to open the pages, and to swirl the brush—He gives us freedom to express ourselves, to find ourselves, and to be a part of the beauty that He created in and around all of us.
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