A Person of Purpose

When you look in the mirror

is the person you see the person the world sees?

Businesses, Marriages, Churches, and streets are filled with individuals who are walking reflections of the world around them. They deeply disguise themselves in fear that their true identities will keep them from the success, control, and selfishness they desire. When caught in a lie, it’s everyone else’s fault but their own, and they walk around with no inner purpose because who they are inside died long ago to the flesh on the outside.

This desire to belong, to be accepted, to feel a part of something is rooted deep within us all, we were created as relational people but the one who created us was the one who desired a relationship with us. It is when we set our relationship with Christ to the side and focus on relationships of the world that the emptiness, the despair, the selfishness consumes and leaves us as shells of people merely trying to find what we gave up so long ago.

Why are we all trying so hard to hide who we really are? Why is the mask we wear ever changing, like a mere accessory to our lives?

I have a calling to be a person of purpose, I know that God is stripping layers of who I thought I was away to reveal the person he created me to be. This is an extremely painful process, these layers become our security, and as they fall away so does our confidence and our idea of self. We have tried so hard to find who we are in the world around us; we define purpose as praise and acceptance as accolades. As we lose control and as the layers get pulled from us, the panic quickly gets turned to peace as we learn that who we defined ourselves as came up short to who God created us to be.

The challenge for this coming year then is to be a person of purpose, to have the courage to allow God to strip away our layers of insecurity and to throw away our masks and to then reflect what was placed in our hearts from long ago, a relationship with God and not the world.


Is God enough in this coming year? When all is stripped away, when you are standing at the start of a new year in the newness of God, is the person staring back at you in the mirror a person of purpose?

Basis of Faith

While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him,
“Lord, If you are willing, you can make me clean.” Luke 5:12

I read this passage last night and it popped out at me in a different way than in my past readings. The statement the man makes struck me as strong in faith but also submissive to authority. He knew that Jesus could heal Him but He also knew that his healing was not guaranteed, unless it was the will of God. Are we willing to make that same statement of faith? Are we willing to say, “Lord, I know you can heal, and I ask you to take away this hardship from me, if it is your will?” More importantly though, are we willing to listen to his answer? Are we willing to have a faith that asks for healing and yet walks away still covered in our pain and suffering? Does our faith depend on healing?

This passage really made me re-evaluate my faith; it made me ask myself if my level of trust and praise depended on God’s level of healing and giving to my needs. It’s easy to praise God when He is leading you away from a storm, but where is my heart of worship when I am in the middle of the storm and I am left only to trust in God’s purpose and plan when the outcome is not known to me?

The power of the lepers’ statement was not that He acknowledged God’s healing power but it was that He acknowledged God’s plan and purpose in using His people to fulfill His will and that pain and suffering may be part of that plan to advance His kingdom. He showed His heart to God, He showed His desire of wanting the pain lifted, but in the presence of the almighty He said, Lord let your will be done.

I have to ask myself if my faith is based on what God can do for me

or if it’s based on what I can do for God.

Actively Waiting

Many may think that Christians hold a mindset of laziness or apathy. The mindset of always waiting, of trusting, of not acting without first praying; our world wants split second decisions, to make decisions based on what feels good, to proceed when the outcome seems to benefit one’s self. I often find myself in the battle of making split second decisions based on fear, based on self-edification, or of trying to control my own destiny. I often battle the thought that waiting equates to passiveness.

Have you ever watched a puppy in training? Teaching them to wait, to sit, to stay is one of the most difficult tasks. We train them though often for their own safety, to grow in freedom, and to one day be able to exceed the small boundaries we place around them when they are young. It’s always been my wish for my puppy to be able to run freely around the park, but I also know that if I did this, I would spend hours chasing him down. He doesn’t understand the boundaries of freedom.I’ve been working with him, and he is learning (though not exceptionally well). My point in this dog training analogy is that when you tell them to sit and to stay, watch their bodies, watch their eyes. Their eyes are focused on you; their bodies often are shaking in anticipation. They are actively waiting for you to give them the command to come or to go. They show great mental and physical control and strength in their learning to wait, to stay.

Waiting for God, staying until God says come is not passiveness or laziness; it is not an act of apathy but instead it is an active, aware, focused control of keeping one’s self actively waiting for their master to tell them to go. In learning control we gain freedom, we learn our boundaries and we are more productive for the tasks and activities God has in store for us.

My theme in these past blogs has been in waiting, in listening, in giving over my own selfish desires. It has been about simplifying my world so that I can better hear God’s voice. I am desperate to decrease the distractions around me so that I can keep my focus, my eyes on my master, so that I can hear His voice when he says come or when he says stay. I want to be an active Christian; I want to be a Christian that can control her own body so that I can give control of my energy, my gifts, and my thoughts to a God who creates boundaries only to increase freedom.

Simplify

I get so overwhelmed with the blessings I’m surrounded by that it puts into perspective my desire to simplify all the distractions. You have those moments in life where you feel all is how it should be—these feelings are far and in-between, but a great desire builds to make life more about what inspires. I become defensive of what threatens to take these feelings, emotions, and desires away. Life is a battle, and with so many arrows coming at us in so many directions, our shields must be up at all times. You can choose to fear what’s behind the shield or you can choose to take comfort in the safety inside.

Outcomes are determined by perspective. Choices put one thing in front of us and many other things behind us. Is your life focus on what is behind or what is ahead? Life is not made to be so complicated; the focus is not to be on the many that fall far behind, but on the one that stands in the forefront.

Make your choices wisely, choose what inspires, and keep your attention on what is ahead. Simplify your mind, your perspective, your choices, so that as you walk boldly ahead you can allow God to lead you in the way of His perfect peace.

It’s amazing what can become a priority when we allow the distractions to be seen as arrows and when we take comfort in what is inside the shield of Christ’s love.

Be Amazed, Be Simplified.

Do Not Run

When God is teaching you a lesson—sometimes he has to prove his point literally. His lesson to me in all of my fighting these past years has been “Do Not Run.” I am quite stubborn, ask anyone who knows me well, I usually end up pushing myself until I crash, try to take control of the chaos, and create a plan or a list of how to accomplish things. I get so used to the “me against the world” mentality that I carry way too much on my shoulders and often times rely more on me then on God. I get confused often with the concept of giving things to God because mentally it often feels that I have failed or that I am weak so I push and I push. I tell God, Hey, thanks for the offer, but I got this. All I have are tired shoulders, and a worn path from all my spinning in circles. I think God must look down and laugh at us.

It took God touching Jacob’s hip socket to get Jacob to give up the fight and to face the awesome reality that God is all powerful, all knowing, and ever present. When we fail to allow God to be God in our lives, how can he get our attention? How can he make us realize that He alone carries the world on his shoulders, that He alone keeps it in rotation, and that He alone controls all powers of this world? We are not the gods of our universe, though we often try to prove to God that we are.

It took God allowing a health issue to stop me in my tracks (literally), I had to stop running, I had to physically slow down, relax (a foreign concept), and find out what my world meant when I wasn’t the one running in circles trying to keep it spinning.

It seems so simple; God proving himself to us in the everyday areas of our lives. What is going on in your life right now that you are fighting? That you are battling? That seems like a thorn in your side? It could be God trying to get your attention. We are not as big as we seem to think we are but we are also not so small that God will not teach us lessons through our everyday lives.

When you start looking at hardships as lessons you will walk away as Jacob did and say…”It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.” There are blessings in hardships because Gods intent is for us to be like Jacob and to “overcome.”
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Genesis 32:22-31.

That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered.
Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.

Do You Trust God with Your Story?

I find myself continually questioning the journey God has brought me on. If I do in fact believe it is a Journey that God, Himself, has placed me on, then who am I to question His reasoning? My questioning comes from my lack of faith in God and not the journey.

I pray to God sincere prayers of my deepest desires to be led by His hand, by His will, and by His understanding and as He answers my prayers, I question him the entire way. I am like the annoying child in the back of the car asking, “Are we there yet? Why are we going this way? Why did she/he get to go the other way?” I am constantly trying to judge my journey on fairness, on my own earthly understanding, and by my own selfish motives.

I have a hard time understanding why there were some broken roads along the path, why others who are dear to me have had broken roads in their pasts, and how to make sense of the brokenness in who I am today. I only know my story, but I find myself so often trying to depict everyone else’s story to make sense of my own. If he did this then, then what does that make me now? As if it will all fit together like a giant puzzle in my mind, I mull over the pieces of life and try to find a picture of something, someone, and anything that brings clarity to the questions of my heart.

I think the hardest part of faith, is in knowing that there will be questions which will not have answers on our time frame. The very meaning of faith is the belief in something you cannot see, trusting in someone you cannot fathom, and believing that there is a greater power than that of your own.

Are you confident in Christ? That is the question I ask myself today. I can spend a lifetime focusing on the pieces of the puzzle, or I can step back, broaden my vision, and embrace the picture. Our life has hundreds of pieces that form a magnificent picture. The beauty does not come from the piece but from the whole—life is a process, a journey. Do you trust God with the pieces of your heart? Do you trust God with the bigger picture? Do you trust God with your story?

Waiting to be Inspired

I find myself in waiting....
I am always waiting for the right direction, the right feeling, the right time and more often then not I'm left with a feeling of frustration, of agitation, and finally of feeling that what I am waiting for will never come. I have to admit that I often neglect to write on this blog because I find myself waiting for something inspirational to write, something profound to say, or something that will leave its mark on someone's heart.

I think the truth to it all is--what inspires you? Do you write for the acclaims of others? Do you write for the possibility of fame or fortune? Your purpose, your intention behind your passion and your pursuits defines your inspiration. I have found lately that I try to tell myself it is my faith that inspires and it is my God who serves as my inspiration, but then why does it never feel enough if I do not feel seen by this world or heard by the masses of others or complimented on what I call my passion? If I am honest with myself my inspiration comes from the world around me, I am just another girl trying to find where she fits in this world and allowing those around her to be her compass. It's difficult not to take what others say to heart, to not want to influence those around you, and to not feel slighted when we are not lifted up by your peers.

Pure inspiration can not be derived off of the fleeting opinions of others, to truly be inspired does not rest on the acceptance or resistance of critics and the value of inspiration is not derived from a dollar sign. What then defines and provokes what we are inspired by and inspired to?

What is it I love to do? If I was hauled away into seclusion for a month's time what is it that I would do that would feed my soul, provoke emotion, and give me the feeling of truly living?
Who do I do these things for? What do I hope to gain by doing these things?

It is only when you strip it all down do you begin to see why it is you live the way you do, who you live for, and what you define your purpose as.

I write this only because I've gotten distracted, I've gotten my priorities lost, and I've become one who has looked everywhere and anywhere for inspiration except for my own heart. I lost trust in myself, I got lost in the opinions of others, and wrestled with God for my purpose. If I were alone for a month's time I would capture beauty in nature, I would reflect with words to what my heart and my emotions felt in each day, I would use my hands to create what I felt was worthy and I would try to find who I was without the distractions of a world full of false inspiration. It is not about me, It is not about those around me...It is about my relationship with God. I am no use to myself or to those around me unless I am first at peace with God. He alone is my inspiration, He alone creates and stirs the desires of my heart. When my heart is focused on Him, then my mind is filled with inspiration; when my eyes are on him then my hands are ready for service; when my ears are open to his leading then my feet are ready to walk in his direction.

I am inspired by God in all that I do, all that runs out of my mind, body, and spirit are first and foremost praise to the creator who created it all and who allows me to capture His creation through His inspiration. He gives to us unique souls, unique hearts, unique abilities that sets us apart from everyone else but in the end we are all mirroring the same creation, we are all inspired by the same creator, and our labors are all in praise and thanksgiving to the one who inspires us each and everyday with every sunrise and sunset.