Waiting to be Inspired

I find myself in waiting....
I am always waiting for the right direction, the right feeling, the right time and more often then not I'm left with a feeling of frustration, of agitation, and finally of feeling that what I am waiting for will never come. I have to admit that I often neglect to write on this blog because I find myself waiting for something inspirational to write, something profound to say, or something that will leave its mark on someone's heart.

I think the truth to it all is--what inspires you? Do you write for the acclaims of others? Do you write for the possibility of fame or fortune? Your purpose, your intention behind your passion and your pursuits defines your inspiration. I have found lately that I try to tell myself it is my faith that inspires and it is my God who serves as my inspiration, but then why does it never feel enough if I do not feel seen by this world or heard by the masses of others or complimented on what I call my passion? If I am honest with myself my inspiration comes from the world around me, I am just another girl trying to find where she fits in this world and allowing those around her to be her compass. It's difficult not to take what others say to heart, to not want to influence those around you, and to not feel slighted when we are not lifted up by your peers.

Pure inspiration can not be derived off of the fleeting opinions of others, to truly be inspired does not rest on the acceptance or resistance of critics and the value of inspiration is not derived from a dollar sign. What then defines and provokes what we are inspired by and inspired to?

What is it I love to do? If I was hauled away into seclusion for a month's time what is it that I would do that would feed my soul, provoke emotion, and give me the feeling of truly living?
Who do I do these things for? What do I hope to gain by doing these things?

It is only when you strip it all down do you begin to see why it is you live the way you do, who you live for, and what you define your purpose as.

I write this only because I've gotten distracted, I've gotten my priorities lost, and I've become one who has looked everywhere and anywhere for inspiration except for my own heart. I lost trust in myself, I got lost in the opinions of others, and wrestled with God for my purpose. If I were alone for a month's time I would capture beauty in nature, I would reflect with words to what my heart and my emotions felt in each day, I would use my hands to create what I felt was worthy and I would try to find who I was without the distractions of a world full of false inspiration. It is not about me, It is not about those around me...It is about my relationship with God. I am no use to myself or to those around me unless I am first at peace with God. He alone is my inspiration, He alone creates and stirs the desires of my heart. When my heart is focused on Him, then my mind is filled with inspiration; when my eyes are on him then my hands are ready for service; when my ears are open to his leading then my feet are ready to walk in his direction.

I am inspired by God in all that I do, all that runs out of my mind, body, and spirit are first and foremost praise to the creator who created it all and who allows me to capture His creation through His inspiration. He gives to us unique souls, unique hearts, unique abilities that sets us apart from everyone else but in the end we are all mirroring the same creation, we are all inspired by the same creator, and our labors are all in praise and thanksgiving to the one who inspires us each and everyday with every sunrise and sunset.