Stand Firm

I love trees, I love their beauty, their shape, their uniqueness, and the symbolism they share with the seasons of our own lives. A tree stands tall in all seasons--spring, summer, fall, and winter. They grow in the spring, develop and blossom in the summer, hold on to life for as long as possible in the fall, and then stand alone and barren in the winter months. Spring is quick to come again but first the tree must withstand the storms, winds, and cold of the winter season to prepare itself for growth and strength of holding its leaves. We too need to stand in the storms to gain strength for what God has for us to carry.

One does not always know their strength or their frame until they are forced to shed that which covers it. In the winter I love looking at the trees skeleton and all the hundreds of branches that intertwine and those that stand alone--each tree has so much character in their structure, but in the summer months it is sometimes overlooked by the foliage that decorates it.
The winter months of our lives, when we must stand strong, are our moments where we can display our uniqueness and our strength. The winds may seem harsher and it may seem that life may never flourish in us again but hold strong and stand firm because seasons of growth always follow after the winter.

Standing is the hardest part of our Christian journey. Hebrews 12:12 states, "Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." Even before Christ tells us to go to battle and to put on our armor, He first tells us to stand. In Ephesians 6:13, He doesn't say "if" the day of evil comes, He says "when" the day of evil comes. He knows that we will endure battles and that the enemy's goal is to knock us off our feet and to bring us to our knees.
When that day comes, Ephesians 6:13 states "and after you have done everything, to stand." Fight, train, battle and in the end---stand.

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
Being a Christian means we are saved from eternal damnation; however, it does not mean we are saved from having to fight spiritual battles.
In every season of life stand firm because "the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."

Making Less of More

What words could you say that would lift this burden from me? I’m waiting for hope that I fear I will never find. My greatest enemy is this restlessness that no one else can see. A constant want for more than what you seem to be ready to give, keeps my eyes from the joy of this life you’ve given me to live.

The sun rises every morning- an eternal clock that tells of your faithfulness in pushing out the dark. Vibrant colors that artists can only mirror in hopes of capturing the glory you provide. A shadow reminds me that you are always behind me, shining the light that provides the way to go.

In blissful ignorance I rush out the door not even taking the time to see the hope you bring to me. I run in exhaustion trying to catch my breath—my exertion only results in irony. What I ask from you only gets in the way of what I truly need. It is my own mind that is my demise.
Am I listening to what you have to say? Can waiting come from running? This restlessness is in trying to capture more and forgetting the reason I live.

Does my cry of loneliness bring a tear to your eye? Does my constant need for more leave you feeling not enough? Is my desperate search for your purpose simply my own desperation for control? Do the praises I give only bring you emptiness? I sing you are all I need but my cries are consistent in wanting more.

I long to truly worship you, I wish I could say I give you my all. I know that it is me that brings this distance between. It is my weakness that blinds me from your power and keeps me from knowing your strength.


I desire so much more—when I should desire less. I scream when you’ve asked for silence. I run when you ask for me to be still.

In trying to be more, I make less of what You are.

An Act of Worship with Empty Hands

When I have nothing left to give- what can I lift up as an offering to you?

When I can’t lift my arms—how do I exalt your name?

I stand ashamed as my all doesn’t even fall close to what you deserve.

I keep asking you to give to me what I need, to help me see, but you let me be.

My spirit fights, battling what is my human need, when all you ask is for my surrender into your perfect peace.

My eternal joy finds its balance in what I have to give and days pass in emptiness.

My reluctance to praise your name does not lie in my empty hands or tired arms but in my own pride

You ask for nothing and yet I ask for it all

You offer rest for my soul but I remain restless in this battle for control

My dreams, my hopes, my faith I give to you for they were never my own

When I can’t rise, I fall into your arms, my sweet surrender

My worship is laying my emptiness at your feet

The Race

1 Corinthians 9:24-26

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Running is a hobby sometimes more than a passion. Some run for the joy of running—movement, scenery, moments in time for reflection, and the enjoyment of pushing one’s self further along each and every day beyond where they were yesterday. Some runners are often barefoot- not by choice or because of the latest fad, but because of situation. They don’t allow the inability to have the newest, fanciest, aerodynamic shoe keep them from their passion; their simple joy is the act of running.

There are others who enjoy (or most would say tolerate) running for the newest clothing and shoes, the magazines with the articles and hints that make them feel apart of something, the IPods with the play lists custom made for the perfect ambiance, and the watches that tell them exactly how far they have gone and where they are going. It’s the act of having others see them run that pushes them farther along in their progress, oh, and for the joy of running.
Desperate for a sense of belonging and purpose they become obsessed with becoming the best looking runner rather than just a runner who gives whatever their best is that day. Strip away the extras—no music, no new running shoes, no new running shorts and matching tops, no stickers or decals showcasing your achievements, no awards to tell of your progress, and often no other runners to see you sweat, and push that extra mile—is running still a joy?

Often times as Christians our race is a struggle, we don’t know where we are running, how fast we are going or how long we’ve been running for. We can’t see anyone around us and the scenery is looking a little sketchy, we find ourselves asking “ok, what is the point? I don’t know where I’m going and there is nobody to even see or notice that I’m even moving anymore!” Faith is trusting in the unknown—it is in loving the act of running and not just the act. When all is stripped away—true faith remains.

We say we love the race but when we strip away the accessories--when we lose a running partner for a period of time, when the scenery becomes not so scenic, when there seem to be more mountains then valleys, we often lose our joy in the faith.

Happiness can be lost but true joy for a passion or a purpose can never be lost. Anything worth fighting for will have is positives and negatives and both aspects make the fight and the race more precious because of both the gain and the sacrifice.

Do you run to find happiness?
Do you run for the joy of running?

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Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

The American Dream

Senator Ted Kennedy's death left an open Senate seat and yesterday a battle for control took place. A party confidently felt that they would secure the majority and sweep the race; however, an under dog came and proved to the people that one man can shake the agenda of a hundred.

Leaders confidently put their agendas on the table and an over enflated sense of self naively makes them believe that their way will succeed. Arrogance, confidence, egotism, and evil all arise with power, but all in a day can come crashing down. Man thinks he has an agenda planned, set in stone, but God in an instant can come and shake up one's world to prove that He Himself is the only one in complete control.

Proverbs 16:9

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

The American Dream is shown continually on reality shows, on biographies, and in history books. This is a country where hard work, dedication, and a driven determination can lead to success. Parents will often tell their children that "it only takes one person to make a difference," it is these words of hope that make great leaders, and which further proves that a hero can be an everyday man who was born with a purpose beyond anything ordinary. We are God's workmanship, used by His design to prove His power, His control.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,

which God prepared in advance for us to do.

What a story! Just one man could possibly re-direct the agenda of a house that for months hid behind an unshakeable exterior. Our God is in control--He always uses the under dog to prove His power, His plan. Fear can come over a country but the fear is only in taking our eyes off the one who calms the storm.

Matthew 14:27-33
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

We are all Peters, standing on the waters of our lives, fearing drowning, and battling control of where our focus is: on the one who can save us or on that which can take us under.

President Obama campaigned for Hope but the true Hope was proved yesterday, beyond what his plan was, when it was proven that yes, one man can change a nation--but that man was never meant to be him.

John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Who Are You God?

We were made in God's image, called to become more like Him, an end goal of mirroring the one who measures up to the mark of perfection. As humans, we are all followers--we take classes, try our best in our careers, desire to grow our families, all in the name of leadership. We are all simple beings who use what is around us--what we can see and feel to determine who we are, what we believe, and what perfection feels like. It's only normal then to try to find an earthly comparison to the qualities, image, and emotions that God maintains in Heaven.

Lately, I'm finding that knowing God is having faith. Faith in the unknown, in the darkness, and in the midst of not understanding the world around me. I compare God to the relationships and people I have been surrounded by thus far in my life and have often made the mistake of forgeting that sin has caused the hearts of men and women to be unable to fathom the heighth or depth of the Love God has for us. I force myself to separate the qualities and attributes of mankind from that of Christ, this is where my faith is tested, because it is believing, trusting, loving a man who maintains the qualities that those around me have failed to mirror. His love is perfect, without blemish, without deceit or selfisness, it is uncomparable, but it makes you ask: If men are made in the image of God, then what does that do to my faith when what I use as a mirror for love becomes distorted, blurry, and dirty? Faith is not needing a mirror, it is trusting that what God says is truth and that His display and commitment to love for us is found in ways that man can not fathom or re-create.

It's devastating when someone you trusted, someone who you put your hope in, someone who gave you a sense of safety becomes the one person you fear the most. They hold this power over you because at your most vulnerable moments-- they were there, you rested your heart in their hands, you shared the darkest secrets of your soul and in an instant the trust is broken, the hope is crushed, and they take with them a piece of you that you will never get back. All that was once pure becomes tarnished--in the hands of evil, even the saint can be brought to their knees.

What would life look like if my God, the one I put my hope in, the only one I truly trust, the one who knows my deepest desires, the one at the end of the day pulls me out of darkness and lets me rest in the light of His love, left me, abandoned me, or attacked who I was? It's only faith that can separate the pain and reality of our present relationships with that of the one who, for all of eternity, has been faithful in His love for us and who holds our hearts above the reach of our enemies.

It's hard to let go of failed relationships, its hard to forgive those who have so deeply hurt us because we want to understand God's love for us through those who surround us here on earth. I can't let someone walk away from me, can't allow someone to disrespect me; because my deepest fear is not in losing their love, but in losing my hope that my God would not find me worthy enough to love, to pursue, and to lift up in times when I need His embrace. We equate the love of our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, boyfriends, and best-friends with God's love. By gaining the affection of those around us, we some how feel we can gain worth so that God might see us and find us as someone worthy of His salvation.

This is why we fear loneliness, we are addicted to ceremonies and symbolism because we need others to see that we are worthy, we are loved, and we are someone of value. If 50 friends means popularity then does zero friends mean loser? The logic we use to define happiness, contenment, and success here on earth will never allow us to be enough or to have enough. Christ came to earth in the form of a man, to die on the cross for our short comings, for our sinfulness, and for our misguided logic of what true love really means. He gave us grace and has presented us with a relationship that defies human logic, that makes the best love story fall short, because he is the author and creator of what perfect love is...forgiveness and acceptance.

This all leads me to two questions:

1. Are YOU enough?

2. Is GOD enough?

Life is a journey, as my blog's title shows, and I don't have the answer to these two questions at the moment because my path is teaching me what "enough" is, but what I do know is that there are moments when I can feel myself wraped in His arms of grace and in those very moments--it is more then enough.

Being the Model and not the Imitation

Jeremiah 18:1-4

This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message. So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel.

But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands;

so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

A creator, an originator, one who holds purpose in their hands and builds by design for function, use, or beauty. I never understood how one could believe that the world was formed without a creator, without a purpose, void of a design and a function. A lump of clay doesn't spin itself into function and if one argues the point that it quite possibly could by some cosmic force, then my argument turns to the purpose for that piece of clay. If there is no plan, no purpose, no design, no set use, then what makes it unique? What make sit of any significance? By chance it happens to hold water and be only of use till it is destroyed because there is no other purpose for it beyond what just happened to appear. As a being, I would hope I would not be merely a lump of clay, spontaneously thrown to be whatever design and use that I just happened to become. To possibly be of someones use or need- to just lay on the ground of the earth 'till someone, need I say a "creator," chose to pick me up, dust me off, and use me for their own purpose. No matter your view or belief, you believe in a Creator, one who gives you your purpose--I choose to believe that my Creator is greater than one who forms a spontaneous use/function for that which is random.

Looking back at my last 27 years, I can see how I've been re-shaped, re-worked, given a new coat of paint, all in order to serve part of my Creator's greater purpose and plan. I cringe of thinking of remaining forever as the individual I was in High School, in College, or even today. I'm not ashamed of who I was or who I've become, I just hope never to be stuck in a single stage of my life--to only serve one purpose and to become obsolete as time progresses.

My hope comes from knowing that my God, my Savior, my Creator, holds me in His hands, that I am His creation, that I was inspired by His brilliance, and that He has a plan for me--a purpose. I am unique, one of a kind--I was formed from noting into something of value, even if it may seem for no one other than the Creator Himself.

Change requires force, motion, direction, and purpose. Many view this simply by the term "evolution," and yet they panic and fear nature's natural course of change, such as global warming, because they don't understand what that change is. They want, they need, they desire a creator--a purpose, one with a plan. They step up themselves to try and force that direction and understanding but in trying to prevent evolution they simply live in denial and fear of the very term they use as their religion.

Evolution is real--change does occur, as Jeremiah 18 states, "so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him." I do not fear change or this process of Evolution because my greatest hope is to be an inspiration, something ordinary that can be shaped into something extraordinary. To lay my head down at night with a hope that tomorrow I will serve a purpose greater than today's, to know that I had a purpose before I was formed and to know my Creator keeps working out His purpose for creation.

I am covered in fingerprints from a designer who creates His best vessels through patience, persistence, and an inspiration that makes His masterpieces the model and not the imitation.

A Sense of Self Beyond Our Senses

Self-worth, self-respect, sexiness, worth, and value... These are all emotions and feelings that we often feel can only be given by the praise and admiration of another. Many times we often mistake the deep desire for a relationship with the deep desire to posses these 5 qualities. The truth is though, that you do need someone to make you feel the above emotions, feelings, and qualities, and that person is YOU. No one can take away your self-worth, your self-respect, your sexiness, or your very worth and value--only you can take those qualities from your possession.
When a relationship ends they do not end; when you find yourself alone, in silence, in reflection you never stop exuding those qualities.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it still make a sound? Joy, pain, laughter, tears, love, hate exude from us not for the audible pleasure and satisfaction of another but as an outlet and expression of what we feel inside--that those around us may happen to witness.
Even in the most desolate of locations one's feelings mean something, one's expressions matter. All of creation cries out in praise to the Creator-no one is without excuse in understanding the glory of God.

Self-worth can not be proved, it is not dictated by a job on your resume, a ring on your finger, a hobby on display, or the act of being understood by another. Self-worth comes from understanding you were made with purpose and for a purpose that no one else can understand or enjoy because worth is defined by God and not by human standards. Your worth is not your own--it was given to you by one who believes in you, even when you doubt both Him and yourself.

Self-respect can not be taken away. How you view yourself should not be dependent on the admiration or respect of others. You must demand respect from others as well as yourself. Others may leave, may laugh in your face, may try to devalue you in all aspects, but their actions do not reflect your value, your pride, your boundaries, or standards. People must earn your respect, it is not immediately given and can not be taken, but once lost--it is gone forever. Treasure the respect for yourself, you've earned it--make others do the same!

Sexiness--self love is taught as a sin and the term "sex" is branded in our minds as off limits until marriage. So how does one feel sexy without sinning and with maintaining purity in their current prefix? Sexiness is what you exude--confidence, respect, love, peace, joy, discipline, consistency, it should be a mirror of your heart--a glimpse at your soul. Just as sex was created as a sacred act between two in a union of marriage and was perverted into an act of lust, sexiness is the characteristics that one exudes that gives a glimpse to the sacred union of God's love and one's acceptance of that love and should not be mistaken with perversion that is an emotion one feels as lust towards you.
Sexiness is not reserved for those who are married--being single you are allowed to exude confidence, respect, love, peace, joy, discipline, and consistency because we are the bride of Christ.

Worth and Value are not dependent on a possession, on a look, on acceptance--it is nothing we can gain by 10 extra minutes on a treadmill, with the position earned within a company, by the pursuit of one by the opposite sex. Worth comes from our sense of self but we must remember that we do not belong to ourselves--Our old selves are dead and buried and we belong to the one that holds us above all that attempts to steal His grace from us.