Who Are You God?

We were made in God's image, called to become more like Him, an end goal of mirroring the one who measures up to the mark of perfection. As humans, we are all followers--we take classes, try our best in our careers, desire to grow our families, all in the name of leadership. We are all simple beings who use what is around us--what we can see and feel to determine who we are, what we believe, and what perfection feels like. It's only normal then to try to find an earthly comparison to the qualities, image, and emotions that God maintains in Heaven.

Lately, I'm finding that knowing God is having faith. Faith in the unknown, in the darkness, and in the midst of not understanding the world around me. I compare God to the relationships and people I have been surrounded by thus far in my life and have often made the mistake of forgeting that sin has caused the hearts of men and women to be unable to fathom the heighth or depth of the Love God has for us. I force myself to separate the qualities and attributes of mankind from that of Christ, this is where my faith is tested, because it is believing, trusting, loving a man who maintains the qualities that those around me have failed to mirror. His love is perfect, without blemish, without deceit or selfisness, it is uncomparable, but it makes you ask: If men are made in the image of God, then what does that do to my faith when what I use as a mirror for love becomes distorted, blurry, and dirty? Faith is not needing a mirror, it is trusting that what God says is truth and that His display and commitment to love for us is found in ways that man can not fathom or re-create.

It's devastating when someone you trusted, someone who you put your hope in, someone who gave you a sense of safety becomes the one person you fear the most. They hold this power over you because at your most vulnerable moments-- they were there, you rested your heart in their hands, you shared the darkest secrets of your soul and in an instant the trust is broken, the hope is crushed, and they take with them a piece of you that you will never get back. All that was once pure becomes tarnished--in the hands of evil, even the saint can be brought to their knees.

What would life look like if my God, the one I put my hope in, the only one I truly trust, the one who knows my deepest desires, the one at the end of the day pulls me out of darkness and lets me rest in the light of His love, left me, abandoned me, or attacked who I was? It's only faith that can separate the pain and reality of our present relationships with that of the one who, for all of eternity, has been faithful in His love for us and who holds our hearts above the reach of our enemies.

It's hard to let go of failed relationships, its hard to forgive those who have so deeply hurt us because we want to understand God's love for us through those who surround us here on earth. I can't let someone walk away from me, can't allow someone to disrespect me; because my deepest fear is not in losing their love, but in losing my hope that my God would not find me worthy enough to love, to pursue, and to lift up in times when I need His embrace. We equate the love of our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, girlfriends, boyfriends, and best-friends with God's love. By gaining the affection of those around us, we some how feel we can gain worth so that God might see us and find us as someone worthy of His salvation.

This is why we fear loneliness, we are addicted to ceremonies and symbolism because we need others to see that we are worthy, we are loved, and we are someone of value. If 50 friends means popularity then does zero friends mean loser? The logic we use to define happiness, contenment, and success here on earth will never allow us to be enough or to have enough. Christ came to earth in the form of a man, to die on the cross for our short comings, for our sinfulness, and for our misguided logic of what true love really means. He gave us grace and has presented us with a relationship that defies human logic, that makes the best love story fall short, because he is the author and creator of what perfect love is...forgiveness and acceptance.

This all leads me to two questions:

1. Are YOU enough?

2. Is GOD enough?

Life is a journey, as my blog's title shows, and I don't have the answer to these two questions at the moment because my path is teaching me what "enough" is, but what I do know is that there are moments when I can feel myself wraped in His arms of grace and in those very moments--it is more then enough.