A Person of Purpose

When you look in the mirror

is the person you see the person the world sees?

Businesses, Marriages, Churches, and streets are filled with individuals who are walking reflections of the world around them. They deeply disguise themselves in fear that their true identities will keep them from the success, control, and selfishness they desire. When caught in a lie, it’s everyone else’s fault but their own, and they walk around with no inner purpose because who they are inside died long ago to the flesh on the outside.

This desire to belong, to be accepted, to feel a part of something is rooted deep within us all, we were created as relational people but the one who created us was the one who desired a relationship with us. It is when we set our relationship with Christ to the side and focus on relationships of the world that the emptiness, the despair, the selfishness consumes and leaves us as shells of people merely trying to find what we gave up so long ago.

Why are we all trying so hard to hide who we really are? Why is the mask we wear ever changing, like a mere accessory to our lives?

I have a calling to be a person of purpose, I know that God is stripping layers of who I thought I was away to reveal the person he created me to be. This is an extremely painful process, these layers become our security, and as they fall away so does our confidence and our idea of self. We have tried so hard to find who we are in the world around us; we define purpose as praise and acceptance as accolades. As we lose control and as the layers get pulled from us, the panic quickly gets turned to peace as we learn that who we defined ourselves as came up short to who God created us to be.

The challenge for this coming year then is to be a person of purpose, to have the courage to allow God to strip away our layers of insecurity and to throw away our masks and to then reflect what was placed in our hearts from long ago, a relationship with God and not the world.


Is God enough in this coming year? When all is stripped away, when you are standing at the start of a new year in the newness of God, is the person staring back at you in the mirror a person of purpose?

Basis of Faith

While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him,
“Lord, If you are willing, you can make me clean.” Luke 5:12

I read this passage last night and it popped out at me in a different way than in my past readings. The statement the man makes struck me as strong in faith but also submissive to authority. He knew that Jesus could heal Him but He also knew that his healing was not guaranteed, unless it was the will of God. Are we willing to make that same statement of faith? Are we willing to say, “Lord, I know you can heal, and I ask you to take away this hardship from me, if it is your will?” More importantly though, are we willing to listen to his answer? Are we willing to have a faith that asks for healing and yet walks away still covered in our pain and suffering? Does our faith depend on healing?

This passage really made me re-evaluate my faith; it made me ask myself if my level of trust and praise depended on God’s level of healing and giving to my needs. It’s easy to praise God when He is leading you away from a storm, but where is my heart of worship when I am in the middle of the storm and I am left only to trust in God’s purpose and plan when the outcome is not known to me?

The power of the lepers’ statement was not that He acknowledged God’s healing power but it was that He acknowledged God’s plan and purpose in using His people to fulfill His will and that pain and suffering may be part of that plan to advance His kingdom. He showed His heart to God, He showed His desire of wanting the pain lifted, but in the presence of the almighty He said, Lord let your will be done.

I have to ask myself if my faith is based on what God can do for me

or if it’s based on what I can do for God.

Actively Waiting

Many may think that Christians hold a mindset of laziness or apathy. The mindset of always waiting, of trusting, of not acting without first praying; our world wants split second decisions, to make decisions based on what feels good, to proceed when the outcome seems to benefit one’s self. I often find myself in the battle of making split second decisions based on fear, based on self-edification, or of trying to control my own destiny. I often battle the thought that waiting equates to passiveness.

Have you ever watched a puppy in training? Teaching them to wait, to sit, to stay is one of the most difficult tasks. We train them though often for their own safety, to grow in freedom, and to one day be able to exceed the small boundaries we place around them when they are young. It’s always been my wish for my puppy to be able to run freely around the park, but I also know that if I did this, I would spend hours chasing him down. He doesn’t understand the boundaries of freedom.I’ve been working with him, and he is learning (though not exceptionally well). My point in this dog training analogy is that when you tell them to sit and to stay, watch their bodies, watch their eyes. Their eyes are focused on you; their bodies often are shaking in anticipation. They are actively waiting for you to give them the command to come or to go. They show great mental and physical control and strength in their learning to wait, to stay.

Waiting for God, staying until God says come is not passiveness or laziness; it is not an act of apathy but instead it is an active, aware, focused control of keeping one’s self actively waiting for their master to tell them to go. In learning control we gain freedom, we learn our boundaries and we are more productive for the tasks and activities God has in store for us.

My theme in these past blogs has been in waiting, in listening, in giving over my own selfish desires. It has been about simplifying my world so that I can better hear God’s voice. I am desperate to decrease the distractions around me so that I can keep my focus, my eyes on my master, so that I can hear His voice when he says come or when he says stay. I want to be an active Christian; I want to be a Christian that can control her own body so that I can give control of my energy, my gifts, and my thoughts to a God who creates boundaries only to increase freedom.

Simplify

I get so overwhelmed with the blessings I’m surrounded by that it puts into perspective my desire to simplify all the distractions. You have those moments in life where you feel all is how it should be—these feelings are far and in-between, but a great desire builds to make life more about what inspires. I become defensive of what threatens to take these feelings, emotions, and desires away. Life is a battle, and with so many arrows coming at us in so many directions, our shields must be up at all times. You can choose to fear what’s behind the shield or you can choose to take comfort in the safety inside.

Outcomes are determined by perspective. Choices put one thing in front of us and many other things behind us. Is your life focus on what is behind or what is ahead? Life is not made to be so complicated; the focus is not to be on the many that fall far behind, but on the one that stands in the forefront.

Make your choices wisely, choose what inspires, and keep your attention on what is ahead. Simplify your mind, your perspective, your choices, so that as you walk boldly ahead you can allow God to lead you in the way of His perfect peace.

It’s amazing what can become a priority when we allow the distractions to be seen as arrows and when we take comfort in what is inside the shield of Christ’s love.

Be Amazed, Be Simplified.

Do Not Run

When God is teaching you a lesson—sometimes he has to prove his point literally. His lesson to me in all of my fighting these past years has been “Do Not Run.” I am quite stubborn, ask anyone who knows me well, I usually end up pushing myself until I crash, try to take control of the chaos, and create a plan or a list of how to accomplish things. I get so used to the “me against the world” mentality that I carry way too much on my shoulders and often times rely more on me then on God. I get confused often with the concept of giving things to God because mentally it often feels that I have failed or that I am weak so I push and I push. I tell God, Hey, thanks for the offer, but I got this. All I have are tired shoulders, and a worn path from all my spinning in circles. I think God must look down and laugh at us.

It took God touching Jacob’s hip socket to get Jacob to give up the fight and to face the awesome reality that God is all powerful, all knowing, and ever present. When we fail to allow God to be God in our lives, how can he get our attention? How can he make us realize that He alone carries the world on his shoulders, that He alone keeps it in rotation, and that He alone controls all powers of this world? We are not the gods of our universe, though we often try to prove to God that we are.

It took God allowing a health issue to stop me in my tracks (literally), I had to stop running, I had to physically slow down, relax (a foreign concept), and find out what my world meant when I wasn’t the one running in circles trying to keep it spinning.

It seems so simple; God proving himself to us in the everyday areas of our lives. What is going on in your life right now that you are fighting? That you are battling? That seems like a thorn in your side? It could be God trying to get your attention. We are not as big as we seem to think we are but we are also not so small that God will not teach us lessons through our everyday lives.

When you start looking at hardships as lessons you will walk away as Jacob did and say…”It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.” There are blessings in hardships because Gods intent is for us to be like Jacob and to “overcome.”
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Genesis 32:22-31.

That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered.
Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.

Do You Trust God with Your Story?

I find myself continually questioning the journey God has brought me on. If I do in fact believe it is a Journey that God, Himself, has placed me on, then who am I to question His reasoning? My questioning comes from my lack of faith in God and not the journey.

I pray to God sincere prayers of my deepest desires to be led by His hand, by His will, and by His understanding and as He answers my prayers, I question him the entire way. I am like the annoying child in the back of the car asking, “Are we there yet? Why are we going this way? Why did she/he get to go the other way?” I am constantly trying to judge my journey on fairness, on my own earthly understanding, and by my own selfish motives.

I have a hard time understanding why there were some broken roads along the path, why others who are dear to me have had broken roads in their pasts, and how to make sense of the brokenness in who I am today. I only know my story, but I find myself so often trying to depict everyone else’s story to make sense of my own. If he did this then, then what does that make me now? As if it will all fit together like a giant puzzle in my mind, I mull over the pieces of life and try to find a picture of something, someone, and anything that brings clarity to the questions of my heart.

I think the hardest part of faith, is in knowing that there will be questions which will not have answers on our time frame. The very meaning of faith is the belief in something you cannot see, trusting in someone you cannot fathom, and believing that there is a greater power than that of your own.

Are you confident in Christ? That is the question I ask myself today. I can spend a lifetime focusing on the pieces of the puzzle, or I can step back, broaden my vision, and embrace the picture. Our life has hundreds of pieces that form a magnificent picture. The beauty does not come from the piece but from the whole—life is a process, a journey. Do you trust God with the pieces of your heart? Do you trust God with the bigger picture? Do you trust God with your story?

Waiting to be Inspired

I find myself in waiting....
I am always waiting for the right direction, the right feeling, the right time and more often then not I'm left with a feeling of frustration, of agitation, and finally of feeling that what I am waiting for will never come. I have to admit that I often neglect to write on this blog because I find myself waiting for something inspirational to write, something profound to say, or something that will leave its mark on someone's heart.

I think the truth to it all is--what inspires you? Do you write for the acclaims of others? Do you write for the possibility of fame or fortune? Your purpose, your intention behind your passion and your pursuits defines your inspiration. I have found lately that I try to tell myself it is my faith that inspires and it is my God who serves as my inspiration, but then why does it never feel enough if I do not feel seen by this world or heard by the masses of others or complimented on what I call my passion? If I am honest with myself my inspiration comes from the world around me, I am just another girl trying to find where she fits in this world and allowing those around her to be her compass. It's difficult not to take what others say to heart, to not want to influence those around you, and to not feel slighted when we are not lifted up by your peers.

Pure inspiration can not be derived off of the fleeting opinions of others, to truly be inspired does not rest on the acceptance or resistance of critics and the value of inspiration is not derived from a dollar sign. What then defines and provokes what we are inspired by and inspired to?

What is it I love to do? If I was hauled away into seclusion for a month's time what is it that I would do that would feed my soul, provoke emotion, and give me the feeling of truly living?
Who do I do these things for? What do I hope to gain by doing these things?

It is only when you strip it all down do you begin to see why it is you live the way you do, who you live for, and what you define your purpose as.

I write this only because I've gotten distracted, I've gotten my priorities lost, and I've become one who has looked everywhere and anywhere for inspiration except for my own heart. I lost trust in myself, I got lost in the opinions of others, and wrestled with God for my purpose. If I were alone for a month's time I would capture beauty in nature, I would reflect with words to what my heart and my emotions felt in each day, I would use my hands to create what I felt was worthy and I would try to find who I was without the distractions of a world full of false inspiration. It is not about me, It is not about those around me...It is about my relationship with God. I am no use to myself or to those around me unless I am first at peace with God. He alone is my inspiration, He alone creates and stirs the desires of my heart. When my heart is focused on Him, then my mind is filled with inspiration; when my eyes are on him then my hands are ready for service; when my ears are open to his leading then my feet are ready to walk in his direction.

I am inspired by God in all that I do, all that runs out of my mind, body, and spirit are first and foremost praise to the creator who created it all and who allows me to capture His creation through His inspiration. He gives to us unique souls, unique hearts, unique abilities that sets us apart from everyone else but in the end we are all mirroring the same creation, we are all inspired by the same creator, and our labors are all in praise and thanksgiving to the one who inspires us each and everyday with every sunrise and sunset.

Misconception of Faith

Questioning God’s plan and purpose for our lives never gets resolved by our own human minds. His ways are beyond what our human minds can fathom and when we begin to doubt, question, compare, and wonder, we allow our sinfulness to take away from His omnipotence.

Isaiah 58:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We are under the misconception that god reveals all things to us, that He explains in great detail the steps of our lives, and that a faith in Him means a life with no questions, no pain, and no suffering. Faith is defined as a trust in what you cannot see, what you don’t always know, It is a complete trust without question. Faith is a choice, a process, a deep devotion to accepting that there is something greater than that of our selves. Faith is removing our own human logic, our selfishness, our self-edification and giving purpose and power to God who created a universe, keeps that universe on its axis, and created me, just a spec, on the scale of something so much grander and bigger than my own selfish universe.

I feel pain, panic, confusion and often times I feel that it’s God’s duty and responsibility to lift that pain, calm the panic, and bring understanding to my confusion. My God can do all those things, but more often than not it’s my own sin, my own selfishness, my own lack of faith, I am the one that places that burden on my own shoulders. God does not bring the pain, God brings the healing, and He provides the shoulders to carry what we can’t. He asks us to give Him what we can’t understand, what we can’t carry. He says to leave our burdens at His feet. He says to trust Him, to leave them, to let go. We wait around for closure, for understanding—when God says my grace is sufficient for you. When you can’t fathom why, when you can’t find reason, when purpose brings pain—Is God sufficient for you?

When you can’t answer why, do you trust that God knows why and that faith is moving forward when questions and doubt threaten to pull us backwards? We so often pray for direction and so often God answers those prayers and moves us, but yet we drag our feet, we question, we doubt, and we take our faith and turn it into pain. Pain is a miss focus of opportunity—every opportunity is one to trust and to give our faith to God. Opportunity is our way of giving god power but fear and doubt take away from the grace God so freely gives. Pain is fear, fear is doubt, and doubt strips away faith. Faith is a choice; faith is giving to God all that we can’t understand. It is finding opportunity with each breath we take and giving God all praise even when we have nothing left to give of ourselves.

I don’t understand why, but I choose to put my hope in the one who I know works all things to His infinite purpose.

Taking Root in Shaky Ground

Jeremiah 17:7

"But blessed is the man who trust in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Growing up we aim to please our parents or those in authority over us. Our confidence comes in the acceptance and accolades of those who we desire respect and take pride from. We build our faith in ourselves and the world in how well we accomplish or succeed in what others find noble and honorable. I've always been one that has lived in fear of discouraging, disappointing, or failing in the eyes of others. I shaped my decisions, my desires, my interests around what others felt were acceptable or desirable because while I desired my own self-interest, I ultimately couldn't live with myself without the acceptance of others. Life then becomes a game of trying to live, make decisions, choose wisely your path in hopes of never having to walk alone, never having to feel invisible or abandoned because you didn't follow someone else's vision for your happiness.

We find our roots planted in someone else's garden and while we are growing, branching out, and maturing--we never feel a sense of ownership or self-identity because we leave ourselves vulnerable to be tended to by someone else. As humans--our confidence is always wavering, always dependent on something or someone else and we all fail, we all fall short and therefore when our confidence is rooted and grounded in those around us-- we are never safe, never firm, never stable because we are a people who stand on shaky ground, we are all lost, we are all desperate and dependent on another for our esteem, self-pride, and identity.

Not everyone thinks the same, acts the same, has the same interests, fears, or joys. We are created as individuals and yet spend our lives desperately trying to find companionship in the sense of self-awareness and acceptance. When someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't understand or accept your way of thinking--does this make your identity less worthy? less honorable? less right? No. Our trust and confidence are in the Lord--there is no fear or worry because God is faithful--He brings growth and harvest, an abundance within us in all seasons and all circumstances of our life. In a drought (loneliness), in heat (when decisions are hard or uncomfortable), God is faithful, He never changes, He is consistent in character and understands the uniqueness of His creation. We are never alone in Christ, He is never without a purpose or plan for our life and when everyone stands against us--it is our Lord who stands for us.

We are to live confidently in Christ--He alone is our confidence, our trust, our encouragement. In a world of instability and self centered disasters--it is God who places us on sold ground and comes to where we are. We please him not by conforming but by confronting those that oppose us and trusting in Gods plan and purpose for our own unique lives.

Darkness Before the Treasure

In a world of time-lines, we often forget that it is God that defines our legacy. Success is equated by measuring accomplisments in comparison to those around us. Highschool, College, Dating, Engagements, Weddings, Children, possessions. We are so used to measuring qualifications by status-quo. You do all the right things, you follow the expectations of those around you, you achieve success by the world's standards and yet deep inside it never feels enough--you constantly feel in waiting for something more.

We are all free spirits designed to fly in a big open world and yet we close ourselves in, wings touching, so scared to fly alone, to be distanced from what seems acceptable. Loneliness, independence, freedom, individuality, passion have all become words that though sound strong, are very rarely ever acceptable. In a world of networks, marketing methods, and an ever changing technology era, contentment is not money making, uniqueness is hard to target. We live for a feeling of pride, accomplishment, and acceptance that we sacrifice our own feelings, our own desires, and our own self-confidence. So much resentment, bitterness, and anger grow in our hearts because we resent this world that keeps our souls from flying free.

We are all exhausted, desperate for a break but have to keep going for fear of being passed up and passed by. "Make time for the quiet moments as God whispers and the world is loud."
There is peace and rest in this moment. It doesn't take an escape or an adventure, its quite simple--it takes the trust of being able to let go of all the world's expectations and to hold on to God when the world distances itself from this unknown concept.

There is often independence in loneliness, passion along the unbeaten path, and joy in that which doesn't always result in happiness. We weren't created to follow a status-quo, we weren't born to live lives defined by someone else's definition of success. We were created as individuals, with a unique purpose, a deep seeded passion for the things that define us through God and not by this world.

I will always live a failed life if I live for the approval of others or by another individual's standards. Their story is not my own. The closer I come to paralleling the status-quo, the further I go from being who I was uniquely created to be. Have we ever stopped to think that maybe those who suffer from depression or anxiety aren't the ones with problems in this world? Maybe they actually understand that there is more to this life than that which graces the cover of a magazine. They fight the battle within to search, long, and desire to be more, to fight the world's standards, and to find an inner peace that is unique to them. We try to cure this by a common pill but the only cure is to find self acceptance in dropping the expectations, fight, and constant need for the world's acceptance.

Slipping away into silence, falling into the shadows does not represent darkness and emptiness. Explorers first encounter darkness before they find their treasure. The dark signifies the unknown, the uncharted territory that others haven't dared to find. There can be fear but that is part of the adventure of life. Depression and anxiety sink in when we keep ourselves from discovering what is beyond the darkness, when we hold ourselves back with fear. God calls us to live boldly and with confidence. He is our light in this world of darkness.
There is freedom in Christ.
This world holds us back from our place by Christ's side--it is His journey we are to follow and not the path that history tells us to follow.
History is defined by those bold enough to create change. Be the change you hope to see tomorrow.

More than a Word

Patience is having hope that the faith you profess will be evident in God's time and not your own.

When I think of hope, faith, trust and love, they may just be words to some, but to me they define my existence and my being.

Hope is being a dreamer whose eyes are as wide as one's faith in God. Hope holds our hand in the midst of the loneliest time, it inspires in a room of critics, and it keeps one foot in front of the other when I don't know where I'm going.

Faith is strength in a deep rooted belief that what you may not see does in fact travel like a gentle wind all around. Faith is what keeps you waking up, what keeps you from fear in closing your eyes, it brings purpose to our days and meaning to our moments. Whether one has faith or not, their life is still a reflection of that mindset--life happens and moves by that which one allows to move them.

Trust is standing in a world of darkness and sin and knowing that there is nothing in this world that can take from you what God has given through grace. It is being confident that God promises that you will not endure what you can not handle. You have the resources, the strength, the courage to conquer and persevere.

Love is the greatest gift of all--a word that has become equivalent to red hearts and vases of flowers, but true love is freedom. True love inspires, exalts, produces confidence and does not require anything in return.

Our lives are a series of years, days, moments of joys and sorrows, happiness and struggles. You see photo albums that define your presence but what defines your existence?
Beyond the scenery, looking past the faces, who are you in this moment?
God has purpose for your patience. We are all waiting for His return, but there is reason for today. He could bring His kingdom down to earth at any time, but He chooses to wait. Your existence here on earth matters.
We are not creatures of waiting, we are a creation with purpose.
We put our hope in a God who holds our tomorrows and gives His children enough love and faith to pursue His purpose and plan for us. A Journey has a beginning and an end but it is defined by all that is in between. The story happens between the pages. Your character is not defined, it is cultivated and allowed to grow in order to leave a lasting legacy. Your legacy defines your existence.

Though we may be patient, we live our lives out in confidence that the faith we profess, the hope we hold on to, is trusted in hands that are the ultimate reflection of what defines love.

I Find Myself In You

Isaiah 32:17
The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.


I find Myself In You

How often do we end relationships, quit jobs, change cities, update our wardrobes, all for the sake of trying to find ourselves.
I don't believe that we were ever lost but instead I believe that we lost focus of God. We followed our own selfish desires--dated for the sake of loneliness, took a job for the status and esteem, moved to a city because we craved newness, or thought a new outfit would somehow restore our heart and inward feelings.

All those reasons and escapes are from trying to find and hold onto control of our own doing and not of Christs.

How can we ever feel lost when we are found in God?
There is no fear in Christ, No Condemnation.
Perfect love drives out fear. It is only Christ's love that is perfect and complete.
If he is our focus, if he is our confidence, our security, our trust-- then we are in His will and
our lives have purpose, passion, and peace. He created us each uniquely with spiritual gifts, talents, and passions. He knew who you were before you were even born--
He had a purpose and a plan to make you shine for Him.

The Heavens are an eternity away from the earth but He created us to shine, exude praise, and be visible between the two. It is God that gaps the distance and who gives us the strength, courage, and pride to be spotlights in a world of darkness.

We are never lost when we are found in Him.
We never lose who we are until we lose sight of Him.

A Prayer of Active Listening

Isaiah 30:15
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength."

Isaiah 32:17
The fruit of righteousness will be peace;
the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

A pleading heart, a mind of unrest and anxiety, a constant request for God's will, blessing, and strength; these are so often the pleas from my soul to my God.
Anxiousness is not peace, stillness, or quietness. Fear robs our prayers of faith and trust--
it is a desperate need for control, that even in talking to God, we say the same prayer over and over, we make the same pleas repeatedly as if our God is hard of hearing. How often are our prayers truly to God and not just for our own selfish desires of peace and control.

So often in the Bible is the word stillness, quietness, gentleness, and peacefulness and yet my prayers fall short of these attributes. Prayer is communication. Part of communication is listening and yet we focus so much on the talking aspect. I am so ready to ask God about my life and share with Him the desires and longings of my heart but so rarely am I ready to listen. Do we pray with the true intent of finding answers, of hearing God's direction? When you ask God a question are you prepared to listen for His answer?

Do you have faith and trust that the answer you ask for may not be the answer you want to hear? Do you believe your God is all knowing, all powerful, knows you better than you know yourself, and has your best interest at heart?

So often I pray in love but lack the trust. Patience and waiting are active qualities--they are not giving up, they are not easy--they take work, it is a constant state of mind of being prepared for every time anxiety creeps in, to step back and know that God has already stepped up to the plate for you.

Are you ready to listen?
Are you prepared for the quiet?
Will you be ready when God answers your prayers?
Will you trust in His answer?

I Find Myself In You

How often do we end relationships, quit jobs, change cities, update our wardrobes?
All for the sake of trying to find ourselves?

I don't believe that we were ever lost, but instead I believe that we lost focus on God.
We followed our own selfish desires--dated for the sake of loneliness, took a job for the status and esteem, moved to a city because we craved newness, or thought a new outfit would somehow restore our heart and inward feelings.
All those reasons and escapes are from trying to find and hold onto control of our own doing and not of Christs.

How can we ever feel lost when we are found in God?

There is no fear in Christ, no condemnation.
Perfect love drives out fear.

It is only Christ's love that is perfect and complete. If he is our focus, if He is our confidence, our security, our trust-- then we are in His will and our lives have purpose, passion, and peace.
He created us each uniquely with spiritual gifts, talents, and passions. He knew who you were before you were even born--He had a purpose and a plan to make you shine for Him.

The Heavens are an eternity away from the earth, but He created us to shine, exude praise, and be visible in between the two.
It is God that gaps the distance and who gives us the strength, courage, and confidence to be spotlights in a world of darkness.

We are never lost when we are found in God.
We never lose who we are until we lose sight of Him.

Isaiah 32:17
The fruit of righteousness will be peace;
the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.

God is Our Enough

There is purpose, there is peace, Christ does not keep us in fear by the mystery of His will.
He provides grace and strength in revealing to us who He is
in all we do, in all we love, in our earthly actions and responsibilities.

All things work together for those who love God.
God can be found in all things,
if we would only open our eyes and seek Him out.

We are not constantly waiting--
we are continually living out His purpose!
We fight for more, desire more, crave more,
but God is our enough.

Do Nothing in Fear

We are to do all things in Christ, we are to fear the Lord, and it is in fearing the Lord that all doubts and anxieties wash away; because it is the Lord who has conquered the world.
"In this world you will have troubles but do not fear for I have overcome the world."
There is Freedom In Christ!
There is no fear or condemnation in Christ Jesus. His blessings are new every morning!

To fear the Lord is not to have anxiety in Him but to have such a deep and profound respect that the world is not the focus. Our eyes are focused completely on Him and it is in Him that He guides our steps and reveals the path to our lives.It's an excitement in Christ, it's a fear in that

we don't know it all but that we know the one who does!
There is freedom in Christ!

Answered Prayers of Today

My whole life I've been a planner, I've had goals, I've aimed to succeed, I kept myself in constant motion because I'd rather error on the side of working to hard than not enough.

I saw a movie the other weekend and they said, there is a difference between laziness and waiting.
Waiting is an action of choosing to be still,
being prepared and making the most of the opportunity ahead.

You can't plan everything, there are areas in life that have to be discovered in the process and journey of waiting for God to reveal those things to you. How often have I tried to force God's hand, be busy for the sake of busyness; when actually I was taking away from the blessings God had spent developing and growing for me to enjoy this very day!

Life is not about tomorrow--Life is Today--it's a sequence of yesterdays that God directed and led to this moment. This very moment is an answer to a prayer you prayed for in the past. God is continually answering your prayers, showing us His grace and mercy, and allowing us to live in His love, but we are always focused on tomorrow, praying for tomorrow's blessings.

God calls us to action, but he also calls us to wait--waiting is not being lazy.
Waiting on God is actively listening, pursuing Him, and embracing today's gifts and blessings. It is being ready for when He calls us to action. Waiting requires a mindset of purpose, while action alone requires only motion.

I hope to actively wait on the Lord
and continually praise Him for answered prayers of yesterday that consistently come true each and every day!

Seasons of Hope

There are moments when the past brings clarity to the present and where the present brings closure to the past.

God gives us seasons in our lives. We know of spring, summer, fall, and winter but I think God provided that visual to help us understand that there is beauty in every opportunity and in every path that our lives follow along.

We always find hope in the newness of the seasons, the first robin out in the yard, the first crunchy leaf below our foot, the longer days of summer, and the first snowfall that signifies a season of hibernation. At the end of each season; however, we anxiously anticipate the next--we are ready for newness, freshness, to put the past behind.

Our lives mirror the seasons of change--the excitement and anticipation and then also the frustration and desperation for newness. Would the fist green bud on a tree mean as much though without the death and decay that winter brings? It takes all seasons to provide the circle of emotion and understanding to what we see, feel, and experience.

As scripture states (paraphrased) When times are good rejoice and when times are bad consider because it is God that provides both.

The paths of our lives are hard to navigate, to foresee, to look back behind us, but when God is leading we know that every destination, twist, turn, and view has a purpose and is for His purpose.

Look back at the seasons of your life--see how far you've come and how far God has yet to lead you in this journey. Always remember that seasons are for hope.

The Heart of an Athlete

Its difficult and takes an enormous amount of strength to climb the mountain of faith, to everyday stand by your virtue and your convictions, and to take responsibility for your actions and face and work through your inner demons. "Fun" more often then not is a mask for denial and its important to understand the intent and purpose behind why you take the actions you do and what fills your time and your mind on a daily basis.

Everybody wants to live life on the edge, to amp up their bodies, cars--to take them to the extreme. People use the reasoning that they want to feel alive, they want to experience life, and to better understand their place within it. When will it ever be enough? How fast does your life need to go in order to feel you have purpose? This recklessness is an escape from the truth that our purpose has nothing to do with our own pace, but everything to do with Gods!
You can never out run God, but you can run yourself out of others lives!

Athletes set out to conquer and dominate the impossible--to push themselves beyond that of another. There are those players that are just naturally gifted, the ones everyone loves to hate, who can just show up to any game and dominate the field, but have you noticed that those players never last very long? Their window of impact and consistency is short lived and their ego's most often get the best of them and they become their own worst enemy. Life is a marathon and not a sprint. If you go running out of the gate full speed, you will pass hundreds of people but it will be those same people that pass you in the end as they finish their race with strength, stability, and pride. People don't like the work it takes to be consistent, to be disciplined, and to have to push themselves beyond what they think they are capable of, but it is in the practice, the day-to-day strength building, conditioning, and mental exercises that build the level of dedication, commitment, and skill that is needed to reach greatness and to ultimately conquer the prize.

Practice isn't always fun, nobody wants to feel weak or feel that they always have something more to live up to, our pride so easily gets in the way. Conditioning at times seems to break us more then build us as our muscles cramp and spasm and as our breath gets stuck in our throats and we gasp for air. The adventure in life, the pushing yourself to the limit, comes in these moments of wanting to give up but choosing instead to rise above. These are the moments that show what you are made of, who you are, and what you are capable of. These, however, are not the televised moments, not the moments you read about in magazines, or the pictures you see on stadiums. Hard work is not glamorous. A person's true character, ability, and talent is not proven on the field or the court, but in the day to day conditioning that brings him to that point.

It's not enough to be physically strong--one has to be emotionally and mentally strong as well--you have to dedicate ALL of yourself to the ultimate goal. You devote all of yourself in training, to your passion, and when any part of you suffers, whether it be emotionally, mentally, or physically, they all suffer and cause you to slip from your goal.

Life isn't boring--its grueling--and its the practicing of our faith that prepares us for the Spiritual Battles we will all face. I know when the day comes that God calls me to fight for Him--I do not want to realize that I wasted my days of conditioning and am unable to be strong and courageous for Him. People often think Christian's live their lives on the sidelines or on the benches of life but is THIS life your ultimate purpose? I will not waste my days in this life, I will live them to there fullest; however, my aim, and my goal is not in this life. I condition, I train, I focus my body, soul, and mind on being ready for when Christ asks me to stand for Him.

Romans 5:3-5

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Beauty All Around...

There are times in life when we crave growth, we crave life, and as we anxiously await God to uproot us and replant us among new scenery; He instead chooses to keep us as we are, where we are. Frustration insews as we are so desperate for something more, something grander, to be used in such a way as to leave a mark in this world.Everyday beauty is taken for granted, we are under the impression that to mean more we must always be doing more. We push ourselves to perfection, to ageless beauty, to feel surrounded by purpose and importance. Instead of a joy life becomes a struggle, an every day battle for something more, something new, and something of grand inspiration.

Life is always moving even when we aren't
Happiness can be felt even if no one else is feeling it
Joy can be evident even when no one else sees
Life is happening all around us whether we choose to share it with the world
or keep it close to our hearts.
God has something to tell us each and every day, He longs to show us His creation every morning. We are so focused on feeling alive that we forget the reason we are alive.
Creation screams the praises of God.

I planted flowers along by back patio this past weekend, one plant in particular is in the very corner. It is hanging away from the public's eye but yet it holds great importance to me, because in my place of solitude it fills me with beauty, and growth, and wonder and what God is capable of.God does not always choose to plant us in the most open of spaces, or the most populated of gardens, He sometimes plants us where we are because He is using us for His purpose, for His beauty, and for His splendor.
We are always so ready to pray to God to use us but very rarely are we ever willing to be used by Him.


Let your life be an act of worship, as the Lily of the field blooms to the Heavens, keep your heart and your mind on things above and let your beauty and grace be God's splendor.

Trying To See What We Believe

I'm on the run
I'm on the ropes this time
where is my song?
I've lost the song of my soul tonight

sing it out
sing it out
take what is left of me
and make it a melody

sing it out
sing out-loud
I can't find the words to sing
you be my remedy

My song
My song
I'll sing with what's left of me

where is the sun?
feel like a ghost this time
where have you gone?
I need your breath in my lungs tonight

sing it out

I'm holding on
I'm holding on to you
My world is wrong
my world is a lie that's come true
and I fall in love with the ones that run me through
when all along all I need is you

sing it out
-Switchfoot

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

When all seems lost, I hold on to the hope that rises every morning.
There are times when it feels like something is missing, when a part of me is incomplete.
I search aimlessly to fill that void, I push myself to utter exhaustion in search for what seems lost. Doubts arise and I lose perspective as fear washes over yesterday's clarity.
I question all I believe, I search for anything that will make me feel more alive. The void only increases as this world's quick fixes take more than they give.

Desperation overwhelms and the song I once sang so loud and so proud becomes merely a whistle of some tune I once knew. How could I lose it all when I've fought all my life for control?
Hope seems lost as the fog of today rolls in and puts a heavy cloak on all that I so desperately try to lift up to Him. My head hits the pillow in desperation for something more.

As I awake, the sun stretches its rays to the depths of the darkest part of my soul. An awakening of body, soul, and mind. The void of yesterday is filled with the hope of tomorrow and the faith of today. I can't see what it is I'm trying to hold but I can feel the warmth of all that He has to give. I don't have the answers and that seems to be my only answer.
It is only Faith that brings hope. We have hope in what we believe and it is in that belief that our faith is formed. Christ promises that He is faithful, that we do not always need to see to believe.
Our lives are not about what we can be, what we can see, what we think we need. Our mornings are opportunities to understand that it is His faithfulness that brings the hope we need to feel complete in Him.

We will always walk aimless if we try to see what we believe.

A Heart Drowning in Worship

"Beautiful Beautiful" by Francesca Battistelli
Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

(Chorus)

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

(Chorus)

Everything we think, feel, express is inspired from someone, something around us. We'd like to think we are all original, clever, and uniquely expressive in our words, actions, and pictures; however, all inspiration comes from the one that inspired the creation into existence.

Worship is amazing because while it can be a crowd of 10,000 lifting their hands to God, it is the uniqueness of each and every heart that God finds as an act of worship.

It rained all weekend, I spent time getting myself ready, pulling myself together, and finally opening that door to a downpour of flood like potential. My heart sunk as I thought to myself, well there goes all my work of trying to get my hair in that just right sweep, and my makeup applied delicately enough to appear natural. It later made me think to myself, how much of who we are and what we think we have to offer is esteemed from the perfect haircut, the natural glow of a powder, or the catalog type look in our outward appearance? When the rain falls and washes it all away, who are we then?

"And even perfect days can end in rain." Our worship is an expression of who we are, it is when the rain is falling and we find ourselves standing in a puddle, that our heart shines to the Heavens the brightest. Our esteem, our worship, our inspiration can not be washed away.

The rain brings life to a thirsty field, it brings color to a parched flower, but it also brings raw honesty in who we are as individuals as our masks, insecurities, and false senses of esteem are added to the puddles around us. The rain will come but it is God who promises the rainbows of promise that who we are in the storm will one day shine bright in the heavens.

Rome Wasn't Built in a Day...

I am a goal oriented person. Every day, every year, every event, I make a list for myself; there is something about the satisfaction of crossing off a line and finding the joy in an accomplishment.

There is always a main goal, and a lot of smaller goals leading up to the bigger picture of a hope or a dream that I desire to shape my life towards.

Some days that list seems like an adventure and other days it feels like a challenge; how quickly the heart can flip flop from anticipation to a sense of overwhelming doom. The weight always occurs when I focus on the main goal and let the small details fade away. I get overwhelmed because of all the work, all the effort, all the energy and emotion that it will take to get to that point. Some days I feel ready to tackle the battle and other days I’m lacking even an ounce of energy.

It is all the small details that make the main goal achievable. We can’t lose focus on the smaller tasks that aren’t as rewarding because without them the reward is not as rich.

God took 6 days to create the world and a 7th day to rest. He had the power, the ability, to create everything in one day and be done, but He didn’t. I think this speaks volumes about His expectations for us as human beings. He calls for us to work, to labor, to prepare for ourselves, our families and our church families, but He doesn’t expect us to be able to do it all in a single day.

Why are we constantly trying to upstage God? Why must we feel like we have to accomplish building an entire dream in a day? God had the power to snap his fingers and make the world appear and yet He didn’t. Scripture doesn’t give a detailed account of His reasoning, but I feel that God doesn’t do anything because He has to; He does everything because He wants to. There is no sense of urgency, anxiety, or dread in His creative hand; instead, He takes the time to dwell and develop the details. I like to think that He finds Joy in the process and gets lost in the creativity of the project, that He enjoys His work and dwells more in the template then the timetable.

He doesn’t ask us to do it all, He only asks us to give our all.

And in all that we give, let it be glorifying to Him.

A Gallary of the Heart

A picture says a hundred words that
sometimes my pen fails to capture.

When scripture says, "and Mary pondered all these things in her heart," I wonder what an exhibit of her heart would say in the hundreds of snapshots captured by her soul.

I wonder how many songs are written but never sung, how many movies scripted but never acted out, how many books outlined but never sold? The eyes, the heart, the soul--a treasure of the greatest masterpieces captured, written, and expressed often to no one other than ourselves.

To an audience of one these songs are sung, these movies screened, and these books read. Masterpieces of worship inspired by and for God that no one else may ever see. It does not take a critic, an audience, or monetary gain to define a success.

True accomplishment comes in knowing that who you are, who you were made to be, the song in your heart, the story of your soul are masterpieces to the one that sees into your heart and soul. It is only He that inspires your simple pleasures and greatest desires.

Its Days Like These...

Shadows dance on blades of grass, jumping from one blade to the next--the darkness only proves the light. Fields of color, sky's of blue--my heart breathes fresh renewal in the Creator's symphony.


The birds chirp, the dogs bark and I listen trying to decode their melodies.

It is days like these that make me ponder if what I had to say could even pale in comparison to what the Creator is speaking to me.

Words in the form of imagery, noise in a sense of silence.

My heart can't help but be still as my soul moves in His presence.

Consumed with always trying to find the purpose--I close my eyes under a canopy of cloudy skies and let go of my narrow mindedness, inhale the sweet breeze of understanding that it is His purpose I awake to.

When I feel utterly alone, I open the windows-- I feel the sun on my face, the warmth embraces me, it holds me in its rays and a sense of security wraps itself around me.

In letting go of all I feel I need, in all I think I have to have--
I stand outside in fields of emptiness and realize that He is my all--
He is all my soul needs to feel alive

Means to an End or Ends to a Mean

In discussing perspective with a friend, I found that it is how we live our lives that is a reflection of what our ultimate goal is. Our hope comes form that goal--it is what we strive after each and every day even when the journey, or the means doesn't make sense to us.

For some it is success, money, love, adventure, and for the Christian it is Christ. We live our lives because God placed us here for a reason, we were not meant to understand the end--our human minds can not comprehend its glory and splendor but we work and breathe and act in order to better understand and to draw closer to God. Life is not just about the end.

If God didn't have purpose for this earth and for our daily battles, struggles, and meaningless acts, He would not have created the world, the human being or given us passions, talents, emotions, and personalities.

We were meant to live life--to live with purpose--and to push on each day that God blesses us with. Our ultimate goal is to spend eternity with God but eternity has already started--we are already with God. This journey we are on is to draw closer to God--to find Him in life's pleasures and to seek Him in life's pains, to praise Him in life's joys and to rely on Him in times of doubt.

Our life is a means to an end of eternity in Heaven but each day is a piece of that eternity as we are here on earth living out our lives for Christ.

What is your goal? What is your Perspective?

What are You Willing to Fight for?

What is the definition of a fighter?
Can one be considered a fighter if they've never encountered a battle?
If they have never had something of value at risk of being taken away from them?

Some days i conquer the battles but they leave me exhausted, they produce tears, and leave battle scars. On one particular day I felt a sense of despair but in trying to capture the lesson of that particular day these words echoed in the back of my mind over and over: "Keep fighting, keep fighting, keep fighting."

I don't know why struggles occur, I don't know why people and things we love slip away.
I don't know why the deepest darkest passions and desires of our hearts, seem at times, to go unfulfilled.
I don't know why life seems to tease us by bringing those things so close and then vanishing before we can embrace them.
What I do know though is that the fight, the battle, is for the things we can't and wont let go of. The fight is for the things that keep us waking up each morning, striving for each day, and hoping for each night.

Defend your dreams, your passions, desires; fight for those things that define your existence and your soul.
Never Ever Give Up when times get hard because it is the struggle that defines the fighter.

Let go of the things that weigh you down and hold you back--sometimes forever, sometimes for a few months, and sometimes just for a day. There has to be sacrifices in training, in order to gain something, another has to be lost--it's part of the process, the journey of life. It is the moments that seem the hardest, when we feel we have nothing left to give, that the return is most rewarding. God promises to not give us more then we can handle but He also knows that we are capable of more then we give ourselves credit for. To train ourselves into the condition we need to be in to continue to fight is not for the faint of heart, it is not for the one that's not willing to lose it all for the sake of the goal. Our fight is not aimless, it is to defend who we are, who God made us to be.

The Goal is to find what it is in this life that wont let go of us as we hold on to it.

Words Falling on to a Safety Net of Grace

I sit with an empty tablet in front of me, it somehow brings comfort and safety to my over active mind. Like a safety net below a trapeze, the blank pages are ready to capture that which threatens to overflow from this tired brain.
Some days I sit waiting for that moment where pure coherence collides with brilliant determination to discover reason.
My greatest fear is in not capturing that moment, of forgetting the details that are the keys to unlocking my peace and purpose; forever waiting, pen in hand, to find the deeper meaning to this every day chaos.
Clarity is all that I ask, I am sure acceptance would quickly follow if I could only better understand what it is I am to accept and finally sort through the panic of this every day existence.
Like a butterfly in a box, desperately hoping for vacant skies, my hope still remains that one day this tablet will be filled with words of freedom and independence, no longer confined to the crevices of this brain but spreading its wings to fly across my soul and to the heavens.

Perfection

Ask yourself what perfection looks like
What would it take to reach this mindset/reality?
What sacrifices would occur in the process?
Is the gain greater than the loss?

It is the loss that determines what perfection is to you
It weeds out our worldly mindset from who we are as individuals
Perfection isn't a result but a journey of the mind and body together

Being driven is only beneficial if you have a destination
The destination is only beneficial when you are surrounded by things not worth sacrificing
because sacrifice is only beneficial when the gain is positive.

Everything has consequence, everything requires choice
to pursue something new requires the loss of something old
Change for the sake of change doesn't prove advancement
unless what is new outweighs what is old.

Perfection is relative to personality.
What is the prefect version of you that
creates a positive change in the world around you?

Phillipians 3:7-14
But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Pressing on Toward the Goal Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus

Bloom

There is a quotation that states, “Bloom where you are planted.” There are beautiful flowers planted in gardens, in landscapes, in conservatories and then there are those flowers we label as wild flowers.

The wild flowers, as their name suggests, grow wild among unaltered paths. There location was not carefully selected or groomed to meet the needs and eye of the careful gardener; instead, they bloom where their seeds have fallen and create beauty in the most remote and unconventional locations.

Driving through the mountains, walking through a field, the wildflower inspires the feeling of unexpected surprise as one comes across it and can’t help but feel that there was purpose in its uniqueness. Beauty in the unexpected, inspiration in the unaltered, and companionship in the most desolate of locations; God’s purpose is not random nor is His creation without its unique design.

So why did God create so many different, unique flowers that bloom and flourish in different regions, climates, and expanses? Why are snowflakes each different from one another? Why are some people born to royalty and high esteem while others find themselves as part of the middleclass, living in the background?

But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' " 21Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? Romans 9:20-21

This verse has always been hard for me to accept because we all want to be made for noble purposes and nobody wants to be referred to as “common.” Our earthly mentality is that it is by our own design the measure of success and esteem we receive; however, the heavenly mentality should be one that accepts and finds contentment where they are and who they are.

Wildflowers are wild by design but were planted with purpose by a creator who understood that not all creation can fit on center stage, but instead some were made to bloom with the earth as their stage and the sun as their spotlight.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Stand Firm

I love trees, I love their beauty, their shape, their uniqueness, and the symbolism they share with the seasons of our own lives. A tree stands tall in all seasons--spring, summer, fall, and winter. They grow in the spring, develop and blossom in the summer, hold on to life for as long as possible in the fall, and then stand alone and barren in the winter months. Spring is quick to come again but first the tree must withstand the storms, winds, and cold of the winter season to prepare itself for growth and strength of holding its leaves. We too need to stand in the storms to gain strength for what God has for us to carry.

One does not always know their strength or their frame until they are forced to shed that which covers it. In the winter I love looking at the trees skeleton and all the hundreds of branches that intertwine and those that stand alone--each tree has so much character in their structure, but in the summer months it is sometimes overlooked by the foliage that decorates it.
The winter months of our lives, when we must stand strong, are our moments where we can display our uniqueness and our strength. The winds may seem harsher and it may seem that life may never flourish in us again but hold strong and stand firm because seasons of growth always follow after the winter.

Standing is the hardest part of our Christian journey. Hebrews 12:12 states, "Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." Even before Christ tells us to go to battle and to put on our armor, He first tells us to stand. In Ephesians 6:13, He doesn't say "if" the day of evil comes, He says "when" the day of evil comes. He knows that we will endure battles and that the enemy's goal is to knock us off our feet and to bring us to our knees.
When that day comes, Ephesians 6:13 states "and after you have done everything, to stand." Fight, train, battle and in the end---stand.

1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
Being a Christian means we are saved from eternal damnation; however, it does not mean we are saved from having to fight spiritual battles.
In every season of life stand firm because "the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast."

Making Less of More

What words could you say that would lift this burden from me? I’m waiting for hope that I fear I will never find. My greatest enemy is this restlessness that no one else can see. A constant want for more than what you seem to be ready to give, keeps my eyes from the joy of this life you’ve given me to live.

The sun rises every morning- an eternal clock that tells of your faithfulness in pushing out the dark. Vibrant colors that artists can only mirror in hopes of capturing the glory you provide. A shadow reminds me that you are always behind me, shining the light that provides the way to go.

In blissful ignorance I rush out the door not even taking the time to see the hope you bring to me. I run in exhaustion trying to catch my breath—my exertion only results in irony. What I ask from you only gets in the way of what I truly need. It is my own mind that is my demise.
Am I listening to what you have to say? Can waiting come from running? This restlessness is in trying to capture more and forgetting the reason I live.

Does my cry of loneliness bring a tear to your eye? Does my constant need for more leave you feeling not enough? Is my desperate search for your purpose simply my own desperation for control? Do the praises I give only bring you emptiness? I sing you are all I need but my cries are consistent in wanting more.

I long to truly worship you, I wish I could say I give you my all. I know that it is me that brings this distance between. It is my weakness that blinds me from your power and keeps me from knowing your strength.


I desire so much more—when I should desire less. I scream when you’ve asked for silence. I run when you ask for me to be still.

In trying to be more, I make less of what You are.

An Act of Worship with Empty Hands

When I have nothing left to give- what can I lift up as an offering to you?

When I can’t lift my arms—how do I exalt your name?

I stand ashamed as my all doesn’t even fall close to what you deserve.

I keep asking you to give to me what I need, to help me see, but you let me be.

My spirit fights, battling what is my human need, when all you ask is for my surrender into your perfect peace.

My eternal joy finds its balance in what I have to give and days pass in emptiness.

My reluctance to praise your name does not lie in my empty hands or tired arms but in my own pride

You ask for nothing and yet I ask for it all

You offer rest for my soul but I remain restless in this battle for control

My dreams, my hopes, my faith I give to you for they were never my own

When I can’t rise, I fall into your arms, my sweet surrender

My worship is laying my emptiness at your feet

The Race

1 Corinthians 9:24-26

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Running is a hobby sometimes more than a passion. Some run for the joy of running—movement, scenery, moments in time for reflection, and the enjoyment of pushing one’s self further along each and every day beyond where they were yesterday. Some runners are often barefoot- not by choice or because of the latest fad, but because of situation. They don’t allow the inability to have the newest, fanciest, aerodynamic shoe keep them from their passion; their simple joy is the act of running.

There are others who enjoy (or most would say tolerate) running for the newest clothing and shoes, the magazines with the articles and hints that make them feel apart of something, the IPods with the play lists custom made for the perfect ambiance, and the watches that tell them exactly how far they have gone and where they are going. It’s the act of having others see them run that pushes them farther along in their progress, oh, and for the joy of running.
Desperate for a sense of belonging and purpose they become obsessed with becoming the best looking runner rather than just a runner who gives whatever their best is that day. Strip away the extras—no music, no new running shoes, no new running shorts and matching tops, no stickers or decals showcasing your achievements, no awards to tell of your progress, and often no other runners to see you sweat, and push that extra mile—is running still a joy?

Often times as Christians our race is a struggle, we don’t know where we are running, how fast we are going or how long we’ve been running for. We can’t see anyone around us and the scenery is looking a little sketchy, we find ourselves asking “ok, what is the point? I don’t know where I’m going and there is nobody to even see or notice that I’m even moving anymore!” Faith is trusting in the unknown—it is in loving the act of running and not just the act. When all is stripped away—true faith remains.

We say we love the race but when we strip away the accessories--when we lose a running partner for a period of time, when the scenery becomes not so scenic, when there seem to be more mountains then valleys, we often lose our joy in the faith.

Happiness can be lost but true joy for a passion or a purpose can never be lost. Anything worth fighting for will have is positives and negatives and both aspects make the fight and the race more precious because of both the gain and the sacrifice.

Do you run to find happiness?
Do you run for the joy of running?

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Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

The American Dream

Senator Ted Kennedy's death left an open Senate seat and yesterday a battle for control took place. A party confidently felt that they would secure the majority and sweep the race; however, an under dog came and proved to the people that one man can shake the agenda of a hundred.

Leaders confidently put their agendas on the table and an over enflated sense of self naively makes them believe that their way will succeed. Arrogance, confidence, egotism, and evil all arise with power, but all in a day can come crashing down. Man thinks he has an agenda planned, set in stone, but God in an instant can come and shake up one's world to prove that He Himself is the only one in complete control.

Proverbs 16:9

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.

The American Dream is shown continually on reality shows, on biographies, and in history books. This is a country where hard work, dedication, and a driven determination can lead to success. Parents will often tell their children that "it only takes one person to make a difference," it is these words of hope that make great leaders, and which further proves that a hero can be an everyday man who was born with a purpose beyond anything ordinary. We are God's workmanship, used by His design to prove His power, His control.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,

which God prepared in advance for us to do.

What a story! Just one man could possibly re-direct the agenda of a house that for months hid behind an unshakeable exterior. Our God is in control--He always uses the under dog to prove His power, His plan. Fear can come over a country but the fear is only in taking our eyes off the one who calms the storm.

Matthew 14:27-33
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

We are all Peters, standing on the waters of our lives, fearing drowning, and battling control of where our focus is: on the one who can save us or on that which can take us under.

President Obama campaigned for Hope but the true Hope was proved yesterday, beyond what his plan was, when it was proven that yes, one man can change a nation--but that man was never meant to be him.

John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."